AJ Killgore

the unexpected joke is happiness.

[thucksgiving @TylerHuckabee]

star of wonder? you mean the thing that doxxed baby Jesus?

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@danharmonsucks I canonically believe that after Greendale, Abed created tik tok and accidentally created a wormhole of consciousness that we’re all dissolving into.

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@AndrewKSchlecht This album still holds up though! It’s got some classics

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

You know you’re in Nebraska when you search for “Italian food near me” and Pizza Hut shows up. 2 different one’s in fact.

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

“This chicken is a lot more water-tight than I expected…” is definitely a brand new sentence I just spoke into existence.

[Glen Weldon @ghweldon]

The longest, toughest week of a long, tough year. And here you are, bruised but unbroken, at the the end of it. Sid was worried for you, but he’s glad to see you’re still here.

Go outside for a second. Watch a sunset. Play with a ball. It works for him. Might work for you.

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

This election needs to hurry. I’m getting blue balls. Big blue Biden balls.

[Mindy Furano @MindyFurano]

*reaching for my phone like it’s a baby monitor*

“just gotta check on america”

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@outlawjellybean Yes!!! I like their other albums too but when I think of Brand New that’s the album I think of.

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@outlawjellybean It’s like a top 5 album to me!! It’s such a high school nolstagia trip when I listen to it now!!

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@outlawjellybean That song’s one of my faves!!!!!! 😆

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

This is beyond sickening.

[David Begnaud @DavidBegnaud]

New Tonight: Disturbing video from @WBFO in Buffalo, NY shows an elderly man walk up to police in riot gear. An officer shoves the man...he falls backwards, hits his head...starts bleeding immediately...motionless.
Why did this happen @BPDAlerts ?

[Zach Harper @talkhoops]

“Go get em, nut man” was the tagline for a Super Bowl commercial

[Cobra Commander @CobraCommander]

Maroon 5 is like a bottle of Axe Body Spray came to life, but happened to be good at hooks and bone structure.

[Andrew Schlecht @AndrewKSchlecht]

I thought using Hot Tamales for the snowman’s mouth was a good idea until he turned into a bloodthirsty monster

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@Griller4547 Would be cool to see a Smo-Fry (Smoked then Fried) Turkey for the Holidays! It’s on my bucket list this year!!

[AJ Killgore @aj_killgore]

@carlajjean @johngreen @hulu OMG!!!!!!! 😆😆😆

[Abbie @AbbieEvansXO]

Satan: welcome to hell, I want all of us to be friends here

Me: huh, this doesn’t seem so bad

Satan: so everyone go around in the circle and say a little bit about yourself

[mark normand @marknorm]

Facebook is starting to feel like those last few years of Blockbuster.

[Georgia Wagstaff @georgia_wags]

Wearing black opaque tights: I am a sleek and sexy puma of a woman

Wearing any other colour of opaque tights: I teach art at the gnome school