Astrid Jensen

Catonsville hs '19 ig: ajensenn_

[Astrid Jensen @ajensennn_]

I feel bad for the big baby it didn’t do anything wrong :(

[Governor Larry Hogan @GovLarryHogan]

For the kids out there who may have been concerned, I have some reassuring news: Today I officially proclaimed the Easter Bunny an essential worker in Maryland. He therefore will be able to proceed with his hopping across the state, delivering Easter baskets to Maryland children.

[CJ Cunningham @Jayyy_7one]

When coach say “bring it in” instead of “on the line”

[emilio @emilio__oilime]

bro are you in drake and josh house

[LORD FLACKO JODYE II @asvpxrocky]

MY PENIS AND I WOKE UP 2 THE ALARMING DISTURBANCE OF A VIDEO CLIP 2DAY .AS HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY WE’RE PREPARED 2 DENY ANY SLOW STROKES OR LACK OF KILLIN THE PUSSY .A LONG LIST OF SATISFIED WOMEN CAN ATTEST TOO. BUT THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS SEEING PPL WHO NEVER FUCKED HIM RATE HIM 😮

[Main Mane @_AKAPadre]

Fuck dis joint called da Mihoy Minoy ? 😂

[🌯 @invocationn]

!’ same

[eric curtin @_ericcurtin]

I forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of jersey shore than asked it to write its own episode here u go

[Astrid Jensen @ajensennn_]

@omenscrowley My name is Astrid
I was born in the middle school
My age is literally just too damn much
I like to think about you and your mom

[jala @itsjay_luh]

If you DID NOT learn about Juneteenth in school, RT this, I’m really trying to see something.

[𝐤𝐨𝐛𝐲 ♡ @kobychill]

can u guess which one of these riverdale gang names is real?

A) the gargoyles
B) the ghoulies
C) the pretty poisons
D) the serpents

actually they're all real and riverdale is the shakes spear of our time

[knife wife ❤️‍🔥 @MiaOnSunday]

jonas brothers their fans
🤝
we all have sex now

[freddie @freqdie]

why does the koala look like that old man that ate paint

[jay p @jaylynnpaige]

J cole’s crush in math class: You ever had sex before?

J cole: I’m like a pro

J cole’s crush:

[will @BigWackyWilly]

Oh boy what a nice day to use my kerosene from the Shell on 8200 Liberty Road I bought between Jan 23 and Feb 5th