Austin

Digital marketer. Passionate Badger fan. Owner of controversial pop culture opinions (Shrek 2 really is better than the first, guys.)

[Austin @ajmarg]

So proud that one day I’ll be able to say I was on the right side of history (didn’t pay $8 for a weird little fantasy version of myself created via AI)

[Austin @ajmarg]

Me two hours ago regarding Manti Te'o: Yeah I GUESS I'll watch his documentary, super indifferent about the story of a dude who played football literal years ago tho

Me currently regarding Manti Te'o:

[Austin @ajmarg]

Oh yeah? Could a depressed person do THIS?!

*proceeds to deep clean the bathroom listening to Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn”

[Austin @ajmarg]

An entire train of youths is currently looking at me because they keep hearing a pill bottle shake in my purse and I do not have the heart to tell them it’s Tums and it’s their future

[Austin @ajmarg]

@jcajindos @MikeyStag God bless a single father tryna make it out in this world

[Austin @ajmarg]

How was this a plausible outcome? How did we not all see the same thing? How are we a nation okay with a teenager wrongly playing god towards a group of innocent people simply protesting for society to consider that POC might simply matter? Not surprised, but gutted nonetheless.

[TIME @TIME]

BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse, the teenager who killed two people during demonstrations last year in Kenosha, Wis., was found not guilty on all charges https://t.co/cGSjcLDBFJ

[Austin @ajmarg]

Happy Daylight Saving everybody, I cleaned my stovetop three times this evening in a desperate attempt to run out the clock and make it to an acceptable bedtime even though I could EASILY call it a day by like 6:30 these days

[Austin @ajmarg]

@jcajindos @lollapalooza @JourneyOfficial @jackharlow @modestmouseband @MikeyStag Me when I learn these Lolla after show start times

[Austin @ajmarg]

I see your “put a bunch of empty Amazon boxes by the front door to freak your husband out about your shopping habits on April Fools” and raise you a “buy whatever you want/whenever you want free of judgment with your hard earned money”

[Austin @ajmarg]

Today I learned out that a colleague of mine is a champion fencer, was in Qatar last week to compete (taking no PTO btw), and is literally going to the Tokyo Olympics

Meanwhile I gave up reading as a hobby because it just seemed like too much to do outside of my working hours

[Austin @ajmarg]

I am sick and tired of all of these social media trends being called “challenges” when in actuality they’re just tremendously simple tasks

[Austin @ajmarg]

Does anyone else like then immediately unlike a risqué meme on Instagram for fear of someone you know seeing that you liked it or am I the only corporate sellout in the bunch

[Austin @ajmarg]

With below zero temps in Chicago, I can’t stop thinking about our homeless population. I’m overwhelmed by the problem and the fact that I don’t know how to solve it, but I want to. A shot in the dark, but is anyone knowledgeable on ways to help out a vulnerable group this winter?

[Austin @ajmarg]

Surely I can’t be the only person at that stage of a pandemic where you binge Great British Bake Off and decide you’ll take a bullet for Rahul if ever that incredibly specific scenario becomes necessary right

[Austin @ajmarg]

Four years ago, we watched Three Doors Down and a runner up from America's Got Talent as the inaugural performers. If tonight's line up is any indication of what we have in store for the next four years, I'll be a very happy person.

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

#CelebratingAmerica will feature performances by Katy Perry, Jon Bon Jovi, Justin Timberlake, Demi Lovato, Ant Clemons, Bruce Springsteen, Foo Fighters and John Legend
https://t.co/pJoHlIfGpV

[Austin @ajmarg]

“I hope this email finds you well!”

How the email found me:

[Austin @ajmarg]

I gotta say, I thought I'd at least be able to make it a full 24 hours of owning an Apple Watch before being made to feel like an absolute lazy pile of crap who doesn't stand nearly enough for this timepiece but alas here we are

[Austin @ajmarg]

Rewatching Home Alone and I have to say, I think if my nephew ever spilled milk on accident, I’m pretty sure I would not find calling him “a little jerk” an appropriate/proportionate response

[Austin @ajmarg]

“Idk is it safe for me to go for a run right now?” - me at 5:30 these days

[Austin @ajmarg]

“After this election your neighbors will still be your neighbors” ugh yeah so will gay people, immigrants, POC, healthcare workers, women, people with prexisting conditions, etc. so why don’t you act like you even remotely care about any of them this Election Day