Adam Ottenbreit

I climbed a mountain once and took a picture of myself, then I started typing things every once and awhile.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

No one ever talks about how Paul Simon one time sat down and invented the phrase, “Roly poly little bat-faced girl”.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

My new product is selling like hot cakes.....you can get it in lieu of toast next time you go to Ram’s Horn.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I used to dream that my product Would sell like hot cakes....that is until I realized I haven’t purchased hot cakes in 15 years

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I’m gonna cut the bullshit and just sell hot cakes.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

If you build a house in the middle of a dense forest, yeah, you have a lot of privacy, but you guess what? You can never use the phrase, “we’re not out of the woods yet” because everyone knows your permanent home is in the woods and you ain’t leaving until you build some equity.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

@NickLutsko Holy smokes, you are hilarious. Love it.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

But they lived in different cities and never crossed paths. Also, I think the Coneheads were around somewhere.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I’m not sure, but I think Mike Seaver and Robocop were around at the same time.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I don’t know, I’m not sure I’ll ever reference my Encyclopedia Britannicas again. What with the internet and all.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Go to bed, Steve. It’s ok. Thank you.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

People lose sleep about different things. Me? I’m staring at the ceiling, fretting, because I know tomorrow I’ll have to break the news to two Dalmatians that, sorry, there just weren’t enough red luftballoons to go around.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Don’t put anything in writing. Sage business advice. Horrible journalism advice.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

There Are STILL many Votes to Come: The Story of the 2020 Presidential Election. Feel free to use that.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I know, I’m just trying to find ways to entertain myself. I’m pretty sure they’re dragging this out for TV ratings.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Maricopa Cabana County? Is that anything? Alright, I’m out. See you tomorrow for Decision 2020 Day 4.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

I needed that. You’re brilliant man. Thanks, @timheidecker #aneveningwithtimheidecker

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Dave Pirner was one of the greatest song writers of the 21st...day of March 1992

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Come see my new art house film about strict high school teachers: attention, undivided.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

Everyone says that trying and failing is good thing. Helps you learn. Helps you grow. I don’t see it that way. I’ve worked at a gas station for 20 years. If You fail, someone doesn’t get a receipt.

[Adam Ottenbreit @ajotten]

There are 3 questions that nobody has asked that I feel would get to the heart of the #ukraine situation. They are: How many special people change? How many lives are living strange? And, Where were you while we were getting high?