Amanda Schmidt

i would whip, but i don’t want to spill my la Croix

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

When @lizzo said “i don’t play tag, bitch I’ve been it” that spoke to me because I’m a very slow runner, and every time i play tag, i always get stuck being it.

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

@r_e_holloway @ashmckee123 @realPOTUS2040 @CarolynCooper28 I want to unsubscribe from this content

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

It’s that time of year when the only thing I look forward to every day is the liberating feeling of freedom I get from blowing my nose in a scalding hot shower

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

@Venmo @GiovannaJ28 love it when you eat the bbq chips i drop on the floor

[Venmo @Venmo]

#VenmoItForward, roommate edition: Share this post 🔁, tag your roomie, and tell us your favorite thing about living with them. We might send you both $500. 💸

Must follow @Venmo. No purch nec. Ends 2/25. US only, 18+. Venmo account required. Rules: https://t.co/KUTu7I1eXH

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

@r_e_holloway Who tf has time to be “anti bookmark”

[kait 🖤 @kaitsogolden]

if you’ve been to kennywood, don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine 💛

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

@ashmckee123 Not me, but HLane dry goods and coffee

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

Okay someone has to say it; Pandora’s Bon Iver radio station can match any and all vibes. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

Thinking about the time my dog confused a hole in my wall with a bug

[Amanda Schmidt @ajoyschmidt]

Just cried to my mom about being broke from not working in a month due to Covid, so now I have $30 in kohl’s cash. Things are really starting to look up.

[Star Wars @starwars]

We’re remembering our courageous princess, the iconic Carrie Fisher on her birthday.

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

i always get a little scared when i see footage of really big waves in the ocean. you tellin me that’s happening on the same planet where i have my pancake breakfasts

[Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11]

Pennsylvania culture is going 85 on I-79 and having every car pass you

[Nathan W Pyle @nathanwpyle]

t h e f a c t w e ‘ r e s t i l l h e r e
m e a n s t h a t n o o n e ‘ s h a d a t r u e
e v e r y t h i n g b a g e l

[The Original MakeUp Eraser® @makeuperaser]

stop 👏🏽 using 👏🏽 makeup 👏🏽 wipes 👏🏽

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

me passing someone: u slow bitch

me being passed: ok speed racer