Andrew Keller

25% of @kindofsoberpod / Actor / Quoter of Vines (he / him)

[Mary Peltola @MaryPeltola]

It is a GOOD DAY.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

Leaving Twitter for a whole calendar year and then randomly appearing again feels completely on brand for me.

In other words: is this thing on?

[Marie Connor @thistallawkgirl]

Months after receiving the second dose of the Pfizer COVID vaccine, I continue to suffer side effects including perfect health and having to deal with morons.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

@RollingStone

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

I was reorganizing my albums tonight and I pulled out 21 by Adele and said out loud "Wow! This album is 10 years old!" And I stunned myself. I do not like that at ALL.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

I love the absolute breakneck speed at which my apartment can go from being perfect and spotlessly clean to looking like Grey Gardens. Just a matter of seconds.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

Happy Birthday William Shakespeare, you would have loved The Lion King.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

I love the notifications on your phone from your bank like "OMG sOmeoNE uSEd yOUR CARD TO PAY FOR someTHING ONlINEEE 🤯😵"

Like yeah...it was me.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

GO BOBCATS

[SB Nation @SBNation]

Virginia’s last three men's tournaments:

• lost to No. 16 UMBC
• won National Championship
• lost to No. 13 Ohio

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

Me: wow I feel super full I'll save the rest of this for another time
Me: *puts food away*
Me: *is immediately hungry again*
Me: ....how

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

Impeach him. Remove him. Invoke 25. Whatever needs to be done.

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

I’m really never going to be able to forgive anyone who voted for him. Ever.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

"And then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

[Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1]

Republicans give a standing ovation to Gosar and Cruz for challenging the Arizona electoral votes. Republicans applaud an attempt to overturn the results of Arizona's election. There is no issue with the votes. And yet, applause.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

I saw on Timehop that 10 years ago today was the first time I ever vaguebooked a song lyric on social media. 17 year old me was going THROUGH it, poor guy.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

I aspire to be this photogenic again. #NewProfilePic

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

@PeteButtigieg Hopefully with an electoral college loss to match! The '32 election suits him.

[Andrew Keller @akellkell]

As much of a blessed relief a Biden win on election day will be, I can't help but worry about the unmitigated disaster the transition could be. January 20 can't come fast enough.