Adam Kroksh

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

A couple days old and already whining and complaining. Classic Gen Z.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

AHH Extreme Dandruff. JK. It’s snow.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

The Mona Lisa of the swine art community.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

The best Christmas movie is Gremlins. Fight me.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

I like to have ‘Songbird’ by Fleetwood Mac playing in the background when I’m vomiting in the toilet.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Me and my future brother in law shared a coupon deal for two breakfast sandwiches from Hardee’s this mornings. I hope he likes me.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

I got on a train and a guy roared at me.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Can I just get one invitation to a divorce for a change?

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Today I stared at my hot pocket cook in the microwave without blinking intensely. #NationalBoyfriendDay

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

My neighbor’s dog stares at me while I eat my eggs on my deck. I stare right back.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

My moustache has officially gone through one year of adulthood. Meanwhile my chest hair is in its 4th year of infancy.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

I bring apples everywhere I go so I look more confident and boastful with what I’m doing.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Have you ever slammed your body down and wine is all around?

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

On Saturdays I stand at work watching Amanda Bynes in She’s the Man.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

I enjoy destroying children’s artwork once they leave the restaurant.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

I have never once walked through a Target and not checked out the Toy Section.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Today a woman told me she likes pork chops and asked me if that makes her weird. I then told her no and that i like pork chops too. This did not comfort her.

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

So the Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces are cannibals?!?

[Adam Kroksh @akroksh]

Remember when Robert Downey Jr. was 2nd billing to Tim Allen in 2006’s The Shaggy Dog?