dallas

[dallas @al3xxxx]

we’re approaching 2023 and Ryan has to call me on his parents landline if I want to talk to him when he’s home 🤣

[𝒜𝓁𝑜❦ @aalondraa120]

the A in my name stands for always right

[dallas @al3xxxx]

@rhart810 why are you always annoying

[dallas @al3xxxx]

why do boomers need to stand right at the counter anywhere you need to wait/ pickup an order

[dallas @al3xxxx]

me:
man at the flea market: okay I’ll let you in on a secret bout cookin pork chops on a cast iron skillet

[dallas @al3xxxx]

PA is so funny I just watched a horse and buggy roll up to Wawa

[dallas @al3xxxx]

*steps on scale and flexes at the drs like I’m weighing in for a ufc fight

[dallas @al3xxxx]

has one drink at a brewery*

okay fine I’ll buy some merch

[dallas @al3xxxx]

do u even know what macrame is?

Ryan: uh yeah it’s the crafts where you glue macaroni to the paper

[Zar ✰ @Zarinacar]

daddy yankee wouldn’t approve of these gasolina prices

[dallas @al3xxxx]

not Ryan’s nephew ending a phone call with “go shit yourself” 😂

[dallas @al3xxxx]

do i need to seek therapy for this

[dallas @al3xxxx]

why do I have an irrational fear of suddenly developing an allergy to shrimp

[dallas @al3xxxx]

not the bartender with an eye patch telling me I look like his ex from hs, asking me to scowl at him

[dallas @al3xxxx]

28 and sleep walking stop it I can’t be doin this 😂

[dallas @al3xxxx]

ryan read quiche as ‘kee-wash’ out loud today and i can’t stop laughing😂

[dallas @al3xxxx]

*on the phone with my mom not really providing much hot gossip

her: ya know you’re being a real stale bitch this evening

[dallas @al3xxxx]

@juiicyyyjade sames ❤️

[dallas @al3xxxx]

ya know you’re getting old when u start commenting on the quality of take out containers