Al&Alan&Jac

3 girls / 1 twitter

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

My pronouns are fee fi fo fum

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Hey hey hey do you know us?

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

2 out of the 3 of us are married now, but we’re all still actively sitting on faces

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

It’s so obvious your parents didn’t let you watch SpongeBob as a kid

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

In 2005, I was the first Italian woman

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

I’ve never met a good courtney

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

10 years of being nasty women on the internet and #stillnotcanceled #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

After my b*yfr*end and I have s*x I ask if he’ll leave me a good review

[Breezy @mattbrown318]

@al_alan_jac Love the resurgence of this account

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

steven spielberg was in SAE at u of a

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and knock back a cold one (whole milk)

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

I wish the people working the deli counter fed me cold cut samples directly into the mouth

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

@elonmusk I have a million dollar idea

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Who needs these things to sleep? A half-empty sack, a heat source, saggy socks, and a thin but protective shirt. If I don’t have all 4 it’s not happening.

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Lazy rivers are my love language

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

📍currently free bleeding

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Spread my ashes at @ZARA

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

Halt production of red delicious apples

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

“I may or may not pull my cock out in the restaurant” - Nitin J Illiparambil, CPA, tax manager, real estate private equity services

[Al&Alan&Jac @al_alan_jac]

If you like blue cheese, I guarantee you’re ugly