alaina

challenge me to a popcorn eating contest

[alaina @alainabutner]

Why does no one talk about how gross and ugly you feel the day after a festival even after a shower

[George Mack @george__mack]

Confession:

I collect ads like rich people collect watches.

The 13 best ads I've collected:

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

eepy https://t.co/itea3hrbOU

[triste 🛷 @tamphopho]

in french Spongebob is translated literally as "bob l'éponge", while patrick star is, of course, "patrick étoile" but squidward, for some reason, is called "Carlo"

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

no difference

[alaina @alainabutner]

Life really be choosing one of these six days of the week, and choosing 2 the remaining day

1. Getting all your work done
2. Self care
3. A clean home
4. Enough sleep

[alaina @alainabutner]

anyone else feel like an IT wizard when you fix the Internet just by unplugging the router because that’s all you know how to do

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

(completely overwhelmed) will do!

[Andréa (Dre) Becker @andreavbecker]

when do I stop dreaming that I’m months into a semester and about to fail a class I forgot about? I have a phd

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

being in costco is such a disorienting experience like what do you mean this is the cereal/hot tub aisle

[alaina @alainabutner]

@NapsterInBlue Cranberry sauce in fact is not allowed in the calorie bowl! Not a fan of sweet and salty. No honey-sriracha, sweet chili, candied/maple meats, apple grilled cheese..sweet n’ salty trail mix allowed in small quantities with adequate peanut to M&M ratio

The enigma is demystified

[alaina @alainabutner]

Biscuits are the bottom tier breakfast sandwich holder

1. Croissant
2. Bagel
3. English muffin
4. Regular bread
5. Nothing
6. Biscuits

[alaina @alainabutner]

Just got double the amount of fruit snacks in 1 lil pack. That’s 14 FRUITY SNACKS in one go. What a day

[alaina @alainabutner]

not me googling “how to apologize to a client for missing a deadline”… :(

[alaina @alainabutner]

Already over the sound of leaf blowers

[alaina @alainabutner]

I am suspicious of people who eat each part of a meal separately instead of mixing it all together