ALAN

It’s very much tongue in cheek.

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

One minute you’re young & wild, then suddenly you have a favourite pharmacy.

#young #wild #youngandwild #middleage

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Once you’ve seen The Odyssey there’s no going back to a normal life.

#theodyssey

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

24 cans of Pepsi Max for £6.99 at Tesco, bargain.

#pepsimax #pepsi #tesco

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Pinch punch, first of the month.

#pinchpunchfirstofthemonth #pinchpunch #september

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

A decision was made here!

#adecisionwasmadehere

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Always remember…

Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

-David Icke, 1990.

#motivation #davidicke #mightyoak

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much I earn.
Then they call me ugly & poor.

#ugly #poor

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Just picked up some essentials from the garden centre.

#honey #rootbeer

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

THE OLDER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU REALISE:

ALCOHOL ISN’T WORTH IT.
WALKING IS THERAPY.
NATURE IS MEDICINE.
PEACE IS PRICELESS.
HEALTH IS WEALTH.
HAPPINESS IS HOMEMADE.

#older #life #experience

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

A throwback to those gorgeous summer days.
Jam or cream first?

#riversidecafe #RSC #stratforduponavon #summer26 #warwickshire

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

#hangingout

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

It’s a double denim kind of day.

#doubledenim

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

A decision was made here!

#adecisionwasmadehere

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

I don’t understand why people have such a hard time admitting their flaws.
I would, if I had any.

#flaws

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

You could never accuse me of lacking ambition!
#lifegoals #ambition #hillbilly

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

When using Google, very few letters are as important as the “R” in Gary Oldman!

#garyoldman #google

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

I wish pets lived longer, life wasn’t so expensive, cake didn’t make you fat & people weren’t idiots.

#pets #life #cake #idiots

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

If I ever go missing please don’t make up lies about me. I do not light up a room, I’m not the nicest person you could meet. I have like four friends & I’m a bit of a c*nt.

#missingperson #missing

[ALAN @alaninfluence]

Pepto-Bismol.
Some people will say this is AI.

#peptobismol