alanna

‘Atlanta’ but w/o the Ts — tradition is peer pressure from dead people

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i’m all over toys covering my living room during the day while my son plays but the second he’s down for the night they’re immediately going up or else i’m over stimulated

[Functionally Feral @FeralFerrell]

having sensory issues is so weird. how am I supposed to explain that I’m mad because the wrong lights are on?

[alanna @alannabwoods]

everyone else being pregnant is making me wanna be pregnant but you can bet your ass that ain’t happening for SEVERAL years😅

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i’m already

part-time paralegal assistant
part-time stay at home mom
part-time online student

am i dumb for considering going back part-time cop? 🙃

[alanna @alannabwoods]

@DarthandDogs it’s so crazy how different places are even just a state away because Kansas summer means having a prepped area downstairs for tornados for yourself, your dogs, and your baby🌪️

[alanna @alannabwoods]

@DarthandDogs feel this is on a deep level,a year ago i left being a cop,joined to try & be part of the change,while i truly feel like i was good at my job the management,benefits,&pay were absolute shit

now working in a completely different field from home&making more,so much less stress🙌🏽

[alanna @alannabwoods]

how crazy would it be to put an airtag on an infant car seat…

[alanna @alannabwoods]

children arent trophies or property to be shown around,they are literal people,why do adults think they can take your child while watching them wherever they want to see whoever they want w/o the knowledge of the child’s parent?!

yall about to see a real momster come out of me👿

[alanna @alannabwoods]

children arent trophies or property to be shown around,they are literal people,why do adults think they can take your child while watching them wherever they want to see whoever they want w/o the knowledge of the child’s parent?!

yall about to see a real momster come out of me👿

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i now understand how moms go days without a shower, this morning i chose to sleep for 30 more minutes than shower and now im 2.5 hrs away from being done with work for the day but then im on baby duty so at some point ill shower and not smell but rn is not it…

[alanna @alannabwoods]

haha jokes on me i didn’t even get to see him when he was born until almost 2 hrs later after i was stitched back up and flushed things out from my emergency c😅

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i understand it will probably be different when it’s my own child but i really want nothing to do with seeing
the extra stuff that comes out of my body when i birth him, nor do i want the chunky blood stuff on him getting on me right after…

[alanna @alannabwoods]

we officially have one more month until we can stop boiling water for all of mavericks bottles and therefore stop having to warm his bottles bc they have to be chilled, i cannot wait to use room temperature water on the go to mix a bottle on demand😅

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i’ve been back to work just shy of a month, i’ve already asked HR about going part-time so i don’t have to send mav to daycare…

for one do you know how hard it is to find a daycare for a kid under 18 months?! also the cost, but also i don’t want anyone else to watch him…

[alanna @alannabwoods]

i am 2 different moms when i’m running on little sleep vs full sleep 😴

[alanna @alannabwoods]

how many times can coffee be warmed up? asking for a mom🙃

[alanna @alannabwoods]

how do people send their kids to daycare, first day back to work and i’m already panicking at the thought, thankfully i think we can make it 7 months before actually having to send him but this momma is gonna have to work in overdrive to balance wfh and mom life😅

[alanna @alannabwoods]

we almost took maverick to the chiefs parade and i’m thanking all the things that didn’t work out for us to not take him 💔

[Jacob Meikel @Jacob_Meikel]

Chaos has broken out at the end of the Chiefs Super Bowl parade. Police and military personnel just took off inside of Union Station

[John Foley @2008Philz]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE

[alanna @alannabwoods]

crying doesn’t count when you’re in the shower bc your whole body is already wet right?

[alanna @alannabwoods]

it still hasn’t sunk in… like holy shit i’m a MOM