Alan Pardew

Love football, love women, love winning. (parody account)

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

@JohnSalako Johnny Salad, with that left foot I always saw you as a left-winger. Clearly, you're as right-wing as they come. Ukip? Scummy.

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Guess that's Jaap Stam off to cpfc. I've built solid foundations there Jaap. Thank me. #cpfc #Reading #Jaapstam

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

@talkSPORTDrive England will never win world cups if they keep ignoring talent like zaha.

[Retro United @Retro_Utd]

Wish Zaha was given a proper chance when he was at United.

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

City of culture, I'm having a laugh! #HCAFC

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Did I ever mention that I love South Wales @SwansOfficial? #available #youknowitmakessense

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Did I ever mention that I love South Wales @SwansOfficial? #available #youknowitmakessense

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

What does 'pick your brains' actually mean Sam? Stop texting me. #cpfc

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

NUFC fans with the 'I told you so' crap forget they were 9th in prem when I left. Hope palace go on to do well. Newcastle can do one. #pards

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Merry fucking Christmas. I'll get me coat! Next stop, Barca! #cpfc

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

When told I was going the boys kept their WAGs at home. What type of xmas party is this? Mistletoe in the bin. #cpfc #legendwiththepartners

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

I'd resign if I thought I wasn't the greatest coach in the world. I'll turn this round. Honest. Seriously. #cpfc #cfc #onemoregame

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Bet those threatening to walk on 21 mins tomorrow were nowhere to be seen when Dougie was building this team. Cheerio then. #cpfc #21minwalk

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

What I love about the M25 is that you're guaranteed to end up where you've started. I'll turn it round. I'm Alan Pardew. #cpfc

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

The process has been spot on today. This omelette is top notch.

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Hope Santa gets me @FootballManager for Xmas. Nothing better than to come back from work, escape reality and pretend to be a top top coach.

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Tonight I'll dream of @FraizerCampbell burying the winner and how great the process of transition is going. #cpfc #mufc #dreamer

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

People questioning if I've got my badges. You seen my speedos? 5m badge, 10m badge, 20m badge. The list is endless. #cpfc #badgesoutmyears

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Thought Frazier Campbell would launch our title bid with a winner at the end. I don't do 1-1 draws. He who dares wins unless you're my team!

[Alan Pardew @alanpardspardew]

Feel for the boy Gary Rowett. He must look at me and think 'how the fuck...' #therealspecialone.