Alroy DCosta

Boscoite. Xavierite. Die hard @manutd fan. Ship master. Melburnian.

[Premier League @premierleague]

A record season 🤩

Bruno Fernandes picks up the Coca-Cola Playmaker award 🏆

[Premier League @premierleague]

In a league of his own.

Bruno Fernandes breaks the record for the most assists in a Premier League season!

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

It's Carrick, you know ❤️

🇾🇪 We are delighted to announce Michael Carrick will continue as our head coach, having signed a new contract.

[PurelyFootball ℗ @PurelyFootball]

🎥 Throwback to this Harry Maguire winner against Liverpool… topped off with the perfect knee slide! 🥶

[Swearing Sports News @SwearingSport]

Zlatan Ibrahimović scoring one of the best solo goals in football history

[Iceland Cricket @icelandcricket]

Dear @ICC,

It is with a heavy heart that we now announce our unavailability to replace Pakistan in the upcoming T20 World Cup. Regardless of whether they now withdraw, the short timescales ensure it is impossible for our squad to prepare in the professional manner necessary to compete effectively in this global cricketing spectacle. We are not like Scotland and able to turn up on a whim, with no kit sponsor.

Our players are from all walks of life and cannot simply drop their occupations to fly halfway around the world to experience temperatures only normally felt in Finnish saunas. Our captain, a professional baker, needs to attend to his oven, our ship captain needs to steer his vessel, and our bankers need to go bankrupt (again). This is the harsh reality of cricket at the amateur level of the game.

This news will be extremely disappointing to our fans. Despite being the most peaceful nation on Earth, we maintain an army of online followers, and are the world's 14th most followed national board on X. We were ready to give the Dutch the biggest shock they have experienced since William of Orange lost the Battle of Landen in 1693. And the Americans were looking forward to taking on Greenland, or so their orange-dyed leader thought.

Our loss is likely Uganda's gain. We wish them well. Their kits cannot be missed unless you have epilepsy, in which case they are probably best avoided.

The future is always ice, until it isn't.

Yours sincerely,

Icelandic Cricket Association

[UtdTunnel. 🔴 @unitedtunnel]

From this day onwards, the dummy assist will be re-named “The Bruno Assist”.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Ok. You've got my business.

[Alroy DCosta @aldcosta]

@bhogleharsha @airindia I'm not sure if AI have improved in the past few months, but the flights on the 12-hour Melbourne to Mumbai sector were atrocious. Barely 5% of the entertainment systems (and reading lights) worked! The food too was well below par for an international flight.

[Alroy DCosta @aldcosta]

@abcsport Obviously has no idea what great coffee tastes like!

[Alroy DCosta @aldcosta]

@Samsoncentral His lack of match awareness and extremely poor shot selection were instrumental in causing a batting collapse in both innings.

[SEN Cricket @SEN_Cricket]

What to make of the Virat Kohil & Sam Konstas coming together.

🗣️ “Unnecessary. Absolutely unnecessary.” - @RaviShastriOfc

🗣️ “Really poor. He should be suspended. These are the sort of things you’ve got to draw a line on.” - @plalor

#AUSvIND 🏏 #BoxingDayTest | @Liquorland

[Kartik Kannan @kartik_kannan]

The Aussies have no aesthetic sense. What's a ground view without a few Pan Bahaar hoardings

#MCG
#AUSvIND
#AUSvIND
#BoxingDayTest
#BoxingDay
#Melbourne

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

"Don’t worry Pep, just tell your Daddy Sheikh you need another £500m."

[Ankur Warikoo @warikoo]

It gets dark before it gets easier.

[Johns. @CricCrazyJohns]

Gulbabin Naib thanking his Physio for the miracle recovery 😄🔥

[Durham Cricket @DurhamCricket]

OH MY WORD!!!! PAUL COUGHLIN. 😮😮

HOW HAVE YOU CAUGHT THAT!!!!

#ForTheNorth

[Vir Das @thevirdas]

💔