Alden Derck

mister big shot hollywood boy himself

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@katiebarsotti @everythingloria I do not know this deranged woman and the slander she’s spreading about me (specifically how she didn’t mention I’m breathtaking??) ((thanks Katie I love you))

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@katiebarsotti @SarahPitard SO GOOD! Famine is absolutely a martini girl. Also props to War’s fan-ography throughout.

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@boyapocalypse Okay but where’s the option for the line “you could stay with your wife on her fucking birthday” in See I’m Smiling???

[Romain Revert @romainrevert]

Due to less air pollution the sky is so clear ! I can see the Universal logo !

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

Already here.

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Virgos after they spend a week in quarantine and start losing their minds

[The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor]

"Max can’t actually remember meeting Lauren’s family because he met “like, four other families that week.” by @katiebarsotti and @aldenderck https://t.co/hP6B0sxfy3

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@lolpert You must be stopped

[katie b @katiebarsotti]

Got a little dark with @aldenderck for @tnyshouts! Give it a read, why don’t you? https://t.co/AgpujnuhkX

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@SkylarAstin Would like clarify I unabashedly love “pointing to the note”

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

The finger...

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@lolpert @katiebarsotti Attention doesn’t just happen to you, you have to GET it

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

I have never laughed harder. Please take the time to enjoy this entire thread.

[Archie Henderson @archiehench]

I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC. Here's a thread:

2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@katiebarsotti Was it maybe the gas station Dil Pickle chips?

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@LorganMutich GIVE MORGAN THE NOBEL PRIZE

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@twinklefinkel @lolpert Jokes on you, I’d pull it off and look stunning

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@katiebarsotti @jennyjaffe Thank you for the custom tailored content

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@katiebarsotti You’re setting us up to fail!

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

Whoever tried to put a "positive spin" on the "Plague Doctor Halloween Costume for Kids" copy is reaching.

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@PappasFritas IT ABSOLUTELY IS

[Alden Derck @aldenderck]

@naturegirl44 Excited to be at one of those! (pu55y wax)