monkey with cymbals

yes i bite

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

you’re in his dms i’m stuck in a glass tube please help me

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

microdosing college by eating a cheese stick and 7 crackers for breakfast at 5pm

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

and what if i wear my blundstones to the clurb?

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

i have to feed myself again

[maddie @madsssagascar]

we’re at the point of end stage evil society where when you tell your therapist that life doesnt feel worth living they dont even argue with you they just look at you like this

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

if you’re only offering $15/hr you do not have the right to ask me interview level questions on the application

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

some of yall fr

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

ella langley is kacey musgraves wario

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

why. why are people obsessed with making phone calls in airport bathrooms .

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

i still can’t believe my biggest opp got fired life is worth living

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

okay well i’m making bread

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

now why would this company put a person in charge of the cali accounts who works in the eastern time zone? and why would that employee be expected to work normal eastern time zone hours? and why can’t i, a person in the central time zone, reach said employee at 4pm on a wednesday

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

why is broccoli lowkey having a moment lately

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

in this moment if naproxen was a man i’d marry him

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

how it feels when tsa asks if u have any weapons and u have to respond “i have knitting needles”

[Pastrami Mommy @ewelannawhite]

how it feels to tell airport security that you have a nintendo switch in your bag

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

nothing makes me feel cunty quite like parking in a compact spot

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

being an austinite is when oh my god my eyes are itching and burning

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

agent emily prentiss i love u

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

do we think it would be more or less cost effective to be buried in my bed tucked in all snuggly

[monkey with cymbals @aleffbet]

u don’t need to speak spanish to understand bad bunny