ahmakarrh

simple❤ Medical laboratory scientist 🔬🧬💉 Book lover🤓 Optimist💞. God is the greatest 🫶😭

[Dura🎀 @ms0nigghaz]

I was actually one of the nurses on duty that day, and I can confirm every word. In fact, the moment she walked into the labor ward, we immediately realized this wasn’t going to be like every other delivery we’d spent years training for. We threw away the fetal monitor, the partograph, the blood pressure cuff, the IV cannula, the emergency trolley, and every obstetrics textbook because, as it turns out, all those things were completely unnecessary.

She simply walked to the bed, looked at the baby and said, “Come out.” The baby respectfully complied within minutes. No contractions to monitor, no cervical examinations, no assessment of fetal position, no concern about the size of the baby or the mother’s pelvis. Apparently none of that has ever mattered. We have all been wasting our time.

Immediately after the delivery, the hospital called an emergency meeting. Every obstetrician, midwife, anesthetist and pediatrician was informed that decades of medical training had been based on misinformation. We have now concluded that prolonged labor, obstructed labor, postpartum hemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, eclampsia, emergency C-sections and maternal mortality only happen because women failed to renew their gym memberships.

We’ve also contacted medical schools worldwide to remove Obstetrics & Gynecology from their curriculum. Future doctors will no longer learn about parity, cervical dilation, fetal distress, induction of labor, breech presentation, placenta previa, uterine rupture, or any of those outdated concepts. The only lecture remaining is “Stay Fit and Tell the Baby to Come Out.”

We’ve gone a step further and written to the World Health Organization, ACOG, RCOG and every maternity hospital across the globe to stop wasting resources on labor wards. Apparently the solution to childbirth has been sitting in a gym all along.

On behalf of every doctor, nurse, midwife, researcher, and every woman who has ever experienced a difficult or traumatic labor, we sincerely apologize for not realizing sooner that childbirth is actually a fitness competition. Thank you, sir, for correcting centuries of medical science with one tweet. We are forever indebted to you.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@Justwandyy Please, how can I return an item? It seems I have to pay for delivery. The mistake is on their end. I ordered a size 40 but was sent a size 41. The shoe bag was labelled 40, so I think it was a swap.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@SamuelOtigba The grace to pass this exam

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

I thought we wash our eggs before breaking them.

[South Side Bandit ⚚ @groundnut_ninja]

I was today years old when I found out that when you break a raw egg into a bowl and little cracks of the egg shell falls into the bowl alongside the egg, you're meant to throw away the whole egg in the bowl.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@jay_mikee Gratitude in each and every breath

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@osemagnum The Egyptian you see today, you shall see them no more

[Ginger @Gboye_Rave]

I must sing "Tobechukwu" or "See what the Lord has done" before the year ends.
I don't know how and when but it will happen before the year ends.

[Dr. 𝔹𝕒𝕞𝕓𝕚 𝒜𝓅𝓅𝒽𝒾𝒶 @mediclady]

BSc - Medical laboratory science
MSc - Molecular medicine with distinction
MSc - International regulatory science
PhD - Pharmaceutical and Biomedical science
Cert - Clinical trial design and management
Cert - Int regulatory science
Beverly Hirsh Frank Fellow

Too many to remember

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@ewurum_precious @Hafaz_the_1st MLS IMSU will test everything you hold dear💔😭.

[Enomfon Akpan @mydearenomfon]

One of my biggest dreams is to build a company that creates opportunities for women who started later than expected.

Internships and graduate trainee programs for women in their late 20s and 30s. Remote jobs for women in their 40s and 50s.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

Over here we call them “housekeepers”

[Ayo FBI @PureMinD__]

You must have passed through UBA at some point in your career.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@OloriOfOloris Kasham_dresses. Located at Apo Resettlement and Jabi
Ps. That's their Instagram handle.

[Aproko Doctor Global @aproko_doctor]

Amaka went to get pads. She wanted to get 3. Then she checked her purse, looked at the price tag, and did the math. She could only afford 1. Last month, she could afford 3 packs. Today, only a single pack.

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@Sammysplendor @Hafaz_the_1st We are too busy calibrating machines than focusing on things of the heart😭

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@Sammysplendor 😭😪

[co-creator with God. 🥼🩺 @MaryRoseMalomo]

It started with "tap current" in secondary school, mind you.

[Whemïmor @hy_wemmy]

God I need a proper big girl job…. I love seeing high earning corporate women.

Their dresses, wigs, pants and shirts, bags, accessories and poise.

I’m suited for it oh Lord! You know I’m not lazy and I’m humble enough to learn 🙏

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

@favo_clem Can I incubate our love at 37°C

[ahmakarrh @alexandra_duru]

1. You must be “O” positive cause you’re exactly my type.
2. You are hotter than and an Autoclave of 121°C.
3. You bring color to my life like my Giemsa’s stain
4. Who needs PCR when there’s a chemistry between us🤦🏼.

[Favour @favo_clem]

MLS rizz?