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mostly disappointing

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

there's a couple sitting next to me talking about their friend who "wants to get back into tattooing" and they just let him "practice" on them, and i swear to god i just opened instagram and the first ad was for laser tattoo removal. sometimes you do alright mr zuck

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

call my room 50 shades of grey
not because of kinks or anything, but my sheets and pillowcases that have been mismatched over the last decade are all just different shades of grey

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

@ramen_perez you and i both know that's a lie. it's drift away by uncle kracker

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

it's also funny that i found this out bc of an interview that came across my ig of the rhcp talking about jerry garcia dying and what all the poor sad dead heads are gonna do and guess what, I FUCKING HATE THE GRATEFUL DEAD TOO HEY SIRI QUEUE AUGUST 8TH BY NOFX

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

anyone who knows me knows i fucking HATE the red hot chili peppers. i also hate dave navarro. I JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS IN RHCP HAHAHA god damn idk why i think it's so funny, i've always just known him as the annoying guy in jane's addiction and ink master dipshit

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

this person came into the bar today wearing this shirt and i said "that's a sick undertaker shirt" and they very quickly corrected me. it's a lady gaga shirt. whoops 😂😂

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

why is my uber BLARING the joe rogan podcast rn jesus fucking christ

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

i love working at de nada because it's a fucking honey hole that makes me more money than most bar gigs i've ever worked, but man do i hate working with a bunch of youngins. don't look at me with judgmental eyes while i shotgun this tecate, i will make you cry with words, child.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

ok goodnight

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

2024 for me is going to consist of telling people who have been adjacent in my life because they have mutual friends of mine, to go fuck themselves. i no longer care that we have friends in common, if you fucking suck, i'm going to let you know.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

BUT THE REST OF YOU ASSHOLES, LOOK OUT!!

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

nothing like christian rock in an uber at 1am

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

well my 4.87 didn't disappoint. we sat in complete silence for about 5 minutes only for him to yell "AY MAN" scaring the dog shit out of me, and then proceed with "you think putin is gonna kick the shit out of nato or what?"

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

i don't like an uber w 5 stars. gimme the one with a 4.87 who probably yells at a couple of dipshits every once in a while

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

ok good night

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

one of the coolest things that's happened recently is me finding out about a reddit thread of butthurt tesla truck drivers that are upset by all the people giving them a thumbs down whenever they pass them 😂😂 it hurts their feelings so much

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

i fucking hate these monstrosities, and i will crash head on into one one of these days. all it's gonna take is one rough morning and BOOM i'm swerving straight into one of those bastards

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

i'm fucking crying dude

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @alexbouren]

children born in 2003 can legally drink in the united states holy fuck