Alex Horton

Nashville-based dude. Either dumb jokes or okay-ish jokes.

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

They call this a showmance

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Ariana Grande is dating 'Wicked' costar Ethan Slater, according to TMZ.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Brett Kavanaugh Rules Against Loan Forgiveness Plan Citing Precedent That All Debts Mysteriously Vanish https://t.co/EVxAWvxvwD

[sreeky @sreekyshooter]

oh so NOW Kyrie believes in the suns rotation

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@Nati_Sports Mark Lewis was the hometown DUDE

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@InternetH0F Everything in the fridge’s lids

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

Me: I know I said chilito but maybe see if it’s under chili cheese burrito instead

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

Me and my boy drunk at the Taco Bell register at 1:30 am trying to order an item that hasn't been on the menu for years

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@_prezidente It’s always looked like every shot unfurls from within his body. Really fascinating

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@KevinOConnorNBA “Amid the controversy” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, man

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

I wish he’d add a few more pop filters, just in case

[Jason S. Campbell @JasonSCampbell]

Dennis Prager: "I have zero romanticization of children. Children are among the meanest creatures on earth"

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

After years of research, I’m proud to say I’m a 2 boy

[𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚 @Chris_Grosse]

OK, you can only write with ONE type of pen for the rest of your life, which one are you picking? (ignoring the ink color)

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@WillCIayton Unfuckingbelievable

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@msmzrhltn I WANT IT ALLLLLL

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

Tan People-Watching Fruit

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

Your mobster name is the color of your pants, your favorite casino game, and something you're allergic to.

Mine is Red Roulette Tetracycline.

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

LFG

[Regional American Food @RegionalUSFood]

Cincinnati chili (Cincinnati, OH)

This dish has little to do with chili con carne and is a Mediterranean-spiced meat sauce served over spaghetti or hot dogs with oyster crackers. Common orders include a “3-way” (add cheese), “4-way” (add chopped onions), and “5-way” (add beans).

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

Yeah it’s just candy dude

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

I am DONE with M&M's!

Not one M&M will pass my lips until Mars issues a formal apology and releases an all-male package of M&M's to demonstrate their commitment to gender equality.

These female M&M's are a slap in the face to men everywhere. We MUST band together and boycott!

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

what Freedom Caucus members envision themselves doing when they vote for McCarthy

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

I want AI to do my hobbies for me so I can spend more time on my work 🫡

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@elonmusk Sick man, congrats!

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@JasonIsbell Holy shit

[Alex Horton @alexhortonstuff]

@ThreatNotation My father is a music theorist, so yeah… I think I know what I’m talking about