Alex Mesrobian

writer | joke teller | record skratcher | Follow me on Threads: @alexmesrobian

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

There's 3 sides to every story. You can pick between coleslaw, fries, cornbread, mac and cheese or potato salad.

[Scott Bowser @scott_bowser]

We back and better than ever!

[The Luck Stops Here Podcast with Scott Bowser @luckstopspod]

Last episode of the showing being homeless without a sponsor is up now! After his we’re brought to you by Underdog Fantasy! Until next one enjoy @alexmesrobian and I talk cocktails and cigars! Leave a review and 5* rating please! https://t.co/Bo0NEprUDk

[Hannah Gansen @HannahGansen]

Another great night of stand up comedy this Wednesday at the Barkley!

[Scott Bowser @scott_bowser]

Hell yeah my brother @alexmesrobian has a new album out on digital and vinyl. So stoked I was able to get one of these! If you like scratching/beats then this is for you! Thanks buddy you’re the man!

[The Luck Stops Here Podcast with Scott Bowser @luckstopspod]

Episode 100 is now up! Thanks everyone for your support so far and I can’t wait to do 100 more! For this special milestone I had my brother Bret and sister Eryn on to help me pinpoint when I became a full blown degen! Thank you and enjoy! https://t.co/bXpRXdqjKq

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

Does this make me a ho?

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

The “late” Maya Angelou? Really? It’s 2022, enough with the racist stereotypes.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I had a blast talking with my good friend @scott_bowser! Check out his fun podcast 🎰

[The Luck Stops Here Podcast with Scott Bowser @luckstopspod]

New episode with @alexmesrobian up now! From local murders to fart jars we have you covered! Make sure you subscribe/rate/review so we can launch our fart jar business! https://t.co/a311SJDAw0

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I went to the gym today and on the TV they were showing “Amor Eterno.” I’m not sure if I’ll go to the gym tomorrow, but I am sure that Carlos should be with Valéria.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

End of Chapter 7 of my memoir: “…and that was the day I found out M&M’s weren’t flavored suppositories.”

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

My favorite volume of Pure Moods was the one that had “Put ‘Em On The Glass” by Sir Mix A Lot.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

Alternate movie titles for Spider-Man: No Way Home
1. Spider-Man: I Should've Got an Uber
2. Spider-Man: Why Doesn't My Lyft App Work?
3. Spider-Man: Google Maps is Trash
4. Spider-Man: One Waze Home
5. Spider-Man: No Way Holmes, Órale Pues

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I don’t know why people do cocaine when baklava exists.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

At the end of the day, the most important things in life are family and friends. And health. And food. And water. And shelter. And a means of transportation. And money. And a good credit score.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

“Don’t you hate it when a psalm gets stuck in your head?” - Jesus

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I don’t have a Bitcoin, but I do have the next best thing: 5 boxes of cereal on top of my fridge.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I’ve never had a gold coated steak but I did have a sand coated bologna sandwich yesterday at the beach.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

“Pour some Splenda on me.” - diabetic Def Leppard

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

I like to watch what I eat, so I’ve been hanging around farms staring at cows.

[Alex Mesrobian @alexmesrobian]

There’s nothing new under the sun but if you go to PornHub you can find a stepmom under her son.