Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath

One good tweet for every two hundred

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

This will be in the smithsonian one #dirty30 #ibeatboggs

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

I think we can all agree JD Vance thought Trump would have died by now and that’s why he took this gig

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

I see there is a lot more of a rush when it’s for real

[Phil Braun @playazball]

Trump falls down while being escorted out of dinner

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Right in time for RFK to bring the iron lung back

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

OMG -- the RFK Jr breathing noises during this hearing are absolutely horrifying

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

The light we needed over the past couple of months seeps through the cracks

[Variety @Variety]

The Onion says it has — after 17 months of legal wrangling — successfully landed a deal to take over Infowars, the right-wing conspiracy-fueled site run by Alex Jones.

In November 2024, the Onion revealed its winning bid for Infowars, which was sued into bankruptcy (as was Jones) after the families of victims in the Sandy Hook mass shooting won a defamation suit judgment in 2022 against Jones, who had repeatedly lied and posited baseless conspiracy theories about the massacre. The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron, will pay $81,000 a month to license the https://t.co/oF5VJBLY58 domain name and associated intellectual property. The deal runs for six months, with an option to renew for another six months.

https://t.co/JCgsMdJfEb

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Ah yes, joe Schoen with 2 top 10 picks. A sure fire way to turn things around here

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Draft week blockbuster: The Giants are trading three-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle Dexter Lawrence to the Bengals in a deal that will include the 10th overall pick going to New York, per ESPN sources.

The Giants now head into Thursday night with the 5th and 10th overall picks.

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

If this does well, it’ll open the door right up for my biopic NOBODY WANTS TO FUCK ME

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The first teaser for ‘EVERYBODY WANTS TO FUCK ME’, starring Taron Egerton, was just shown at CinemaCon.

The thriller follows a man who discovers that every woman is stalking him & wants to fuck him.

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Speaks volumes that I fist thought this was a Budweiser commercial, then thinking it was the mandolin doing a tie in with Budweiser, until now being informed it’s a trailer for a theatrical release. They are out of their god damn minds

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

New teaser for ‘THE MANDALORIAN & GROGU’

In theaters on May 22.

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Tim Robinson is in an office somewhere dumpling up pages of a sketch that mirrored this word for word

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!

Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”

The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”

“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”

“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”

Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.

“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”

Tears began to well up in their eyes.

“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”

They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.

I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”

He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

LAWYER: sir bad news, they discovered you have emails in the Epstein files
CLIENT: dear god, you don’t mean they found…
LAWYER: yes sir, they found your order for a New York Jets Geno Smith jersey. We’re doing damage control

[NYJ Matt @NYJ_Matt]

Somebody in the Epstein Files ordered a New York Jets Geno Smith jersey from Modells for $59.99

#Jets

[Doug Henwood @DougHenwood]

Fun fact about Kristi Noem:

While governor of South Dakota she launched an anti-meth campaign with the slogan “Meth. We're on It.”

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

JD Vance had over a day to find an atrocity that happened to ICE agents equal to murder in broad day light. He saw a post it that said, “meal ruined?” And ran with it like the dipshit he is

[JD Vance @JDVance]

When I was in Minneapolis, I heard a number of crazy stories. But near the top of the list:

A couple of off duty ICE and CBP officers were going to dinner in Minneapolis. They were doxed and their location revealed, and the restaurant was then mobbed. The officers were locked in the restaurant, and local police refused to respond to their pleas for help (as they've been directed by local authorities). Eventually, their fellow federal agents came to their aid.

This is just a taste of what's happening in Minneapolis because state and local officials refuse to cooperate with immigration enforcement. They have created the chaos so they can have moments like yesterday, where someone tragically dies and politicians get to grandstand about the evils of enforcing the border.

The solution is staring everyone in the face. I hope authorities in Minneapolis stop this madness.

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

They have already updated Tim McDonnell’s profile after the John harbaugh signing

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

You know what Steve tisch, go back to drinking. You’ve earned it this time

[Giants Daily @NYGDaily]

BREAKING: “All signs point” point to John Harbaugh becoming the next head coach of the New York Giants, per @NYPost_Schwartz

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

“Welcome home honey, how were the Astra Film Awards?”
“Not great babe, I lost to a fucking dog”

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

Indy the Dog wins Best Performance in a Horror or Thriller at The Astra Film Awards for ‘GOOD BOY’

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

I have to stop this. I have to save them

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

At least Jon peters is watching this and smiling, that a giant spider made into another piece of shit 2 hour long epic with the Stranger things finale

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

One thing I’m noticing is the sheer amount of times a character says, “this doesn’t make any sense” during the last season of Stranger things. Probably wasn’t a wise decision to slip that nugget in there so many times

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Truly feels like that win over the Vikings in terms of the foreboding matchup next week. Mara will sell this as a culture win on the way to get to brakes beaten off them by an already eliminated Dallas cowboys, in an empty stadium that is littered with cowboys fans

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

Joe Schoen should be fired for winning this game

[Leonardo Dicaprio Crumbled Under my Wrath @alexorlich]

We see your benching Brock Bowers and raise you Darius Slayton starting

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Raiders are placing TE Brock Bowers on season-ending injured reserve due to the knee injury that he has battled all season.

Raiders S Jeremy Chinn also is being placed on IR.