Alex Cianciaruso

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

Idea for Apple: If you lose an AirPod, put the other one in your ear and it says “colder” or “warmer” until you find it. You’re welcome.

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

“Do you like wanna meet us out for a couple of drinks? We’re heading to the Fat Toad in 15 minutes”- @Nailizzle no Naila I will not be meeting you at the Fat Toad “for a couple of drinks” we all know going to the Fat Toad means we’re blacking out tonight..

[Blake @blakeottee]

People are so disappointing lol

[Khloé @khloekardashian]

2020 we are tired sis!!!! TIRED!! T I R E D

[God’s Favorite. @_OMGItsDC]

I wish grandma’s could live forever.

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

I just tried to add giving up online shopping as the third thing I am giving up for lent and not even ten minutes later I caught myself online ordering a new collar for Winnie...

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

I’ve never been to IHOP before and I woke up craving IHOP... How is that even possible?

[Aaron Jones 3️⃣3️⃣ @Showtyme_33]

To all my fantasy owners if you started me ..... you welcome 🙌🏾 💯

[Tess Barker @TesstifyBarker]

FYI a woman in Italy told me it's healthy to eat pasta every day as long as you only eat lasagna on the weekends I am seeking no further nutrition opinions at this time

[maybe: clare @clur19]

I used to drink the original 4 Lokos and wake up the next day and go for a run. Now I take three shots and I’m popping a Tums and an anti nausea pill and need 2-3 business days to recover.

[marystebbins @marystebbins_]

3 months ago any girl drinking a white claw got their entire existence roasted by the same guys now posting snap stories saying “ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws”

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

at what age do u stop waking up to find bruises all over you after a night out bc i’m tired of walking around every sunday lookin like I went full tyler durden the night before

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

I really like this “Joe is sick and staying home from work” thing. I’ve avoided taking Winnie outside twice now since I’ve been home from work 😎

[Emily Colder @embaummy]

So today at the gym I thought my trainer was flirting with me when he asked for my number/ to take a pic of me. Turns out he thought I resembled BUZZ LIGHTYEAR and sent me this.

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

Dissing Your Dog - SNL https://t.co/JvmXlL1qyS via @YouTube @jevanss33

[Alex Cianciaruso @alexrus0]

@SoundOfMuslic This is something @jevanss33 would come home to lol