Alex Lund

Would you kindly?

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@jerdreams It does remind me of another famous vehicle....

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Really wish there was a way for someone else to handle my dating life for me, but even that would be more energy than I’m willing to put forward into the garbage fire that is the current dating world

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@UsedToBeMattG That tweet became unavailable real fast

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Sorry about the weird tweets my dudes! Seems to have been a hack

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

“Oh wow. I wasn’t expecting you to be actually pretty.” -Customer

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Now to play the game of am I sick, anxious, or dehydrated...?

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

I think it means I'm getting old that my only criteria for my halloween costume was that it was warm

[Lion'O Messy @mattglions]

my mother has survived an abusive ex husband, a rape attempt, a heart attack, a stroke, being a vikings fan since the 1960s, one Donald Trump "presidential term", and having a loud mouth asshole son she gave birth to her mid 40s. Can y'all at least vote this prick out for my mom?

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@mattglions I still remember unclogging their sink on new years with you guys and being a hero to the bartenders haha

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Is it bad that sometimes I take my breaks in the bathroom so no one bothers me?

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

You know, my watch has a lot of nerve telling me to get up and move around while I'm mid poop. Maybe that's why public restrooms are so gross.....

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

To the person who tried to follow me home: bet you weren't expecting me to figure out a way to maneuver behind you and wave now were you?

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Best perk to not smoking you ask? Finally got my full singing voice back and it feels so good

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Even with all the stress in my life right now I'm down to only one cigarette every other day. I'm almost there guys! But holy shit it isn't fun

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@sandraj3an You're telling me!!

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Yep. I really wanted to pay 1200 to fix my car right after I purposefully double paid my car payment so my car would b paid off.... Fuck my life

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@haleysaurusrex Oooo... You need to read the comics... You won't like him after that

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Finally back under 170 lbs my guys!!! What a difference changing your meds does

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

@haleysaurusrex I don't even know!

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Just a note for y'all... Don't ask someone if you can smell their hair on a first date, especially after you just told them about all of your fetishes

[Alex Lund @alexsasandra]

Had a dream where I was late to my own wedding. I arrive to my friends and family and my dad is crying happy tears. Look to see who the groom was and there isn't one. Turns out I'm marrying myself and @markiplier is the officiant. Is the universe telling me to stay single...?