Alex Harrison

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

I was laying in bed last night.

My wife said "Honey, make me scream with one finger"

So I poked the bitch in the eye.

[Alan Shearer @alanshearer]

Go and ask a Manchester City fan. They'd have more understanding what with being from Manchester. #myclub #myhome https://t.co/QlvYY1s6U1

[Alan Shearer @alanshearer]

20 years ago today, I made my biggest & best career decision. I went home to play for my club @NUFC #noregrets #206

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@EdinburghNapier proud boyfriend today :) 🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓

[Chris Ramsey @IAmChrisRamsey]

Two strangers on the train this morning ordered breakfast and discovered they are both gluten free...

THEY TALKED ABOUT IT FOR 3 HOURS.

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

A Scotsman walks into a pub, usually there's an Englishman, a Welshman & an Irishman with him but they're re all in France for the Euros!

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@DEWALTtough bought a combi drill a few months ago and today it has burnt out after drilling 2 holes in timber...... not great

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@OpticalExpress so disappointed with you overall service. From getting an eye test to recieving my glasses. Very let down by yourselves

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@Penny_OBrien maybe horses just arnt for you

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@Penny_OBrien oh no penny. This is getting worse

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@Penny_OBrien a £15 win then?

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@Penny_OBrien its a solid £7.50 profit. A good day at the races

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@Penny_OBrien and winning £17.50 woooooooo

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@IAmChrisRamsey lawrence needs a good punch in the face though. Or buttered up (not in a wierd way) haha

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@IAmChrisRamsey just watching your dvd. Cracking until you talk about shagging. Awkward with mam and dad haha

[Not Match of the Day @NOT_MOTD]

Fans sing to an Ed Sheeran lookalike... 😂 https://t.co/fUVSrxYzNM

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

First day off... awake at half 5. Great :(

[Alex Harrison @alexsharrison]

@josievs i love garlic bread i just dont like people who eat garlic bread