Alex Twist

I have held high office: the highest in the land. I know doctors, dentists, and architects.

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

I usually come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, I came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants my servants chose a new form for me... that of a Giant Sloar!

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Jesus. I'm 48 and I just knelt down, why don't people warn you about these things

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

I've just bought some castors on Amazon, when going to pay I discovered that you can either buy them as a one off or subscribe so that they send you castors every month. A handy service

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

George Peppard fancied the makeup lady on The A-Team set for years but never did acted on it.

at the wrap party he went up to her and said "you wanna know why I never approached you? spoonerise this." he gave her a bag and left, never to return.

inside was a shepherd's pie.

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

@Borderlands @NVIDIAGeForce Geforce season

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

"having sex in the bath is fraught with imponderables"

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Death is but a door, time is but a window.... I'll be back

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Being a parent in your 40s for the first 17 months can be summed up by the following three words...... "Christ, my knees"

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

@NVIDIAGeForceUK GeForce Day

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Last night was an A-1, tip top clubbing jam fair. It was a sandwich of fun on ecstacy bread, wrapped up in a big bag like disco fudge.

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Hey, @grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just say who it was.

[Bill Moon @BigBillMoon]

This, from the JFK files, is HUGE NEWS!

I can't believe they've released this!

What does this mean for USA/UK relations now? 😲😲😲

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I swear this happens

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

Claudia deserves a BAFTA for this moment alone #TheTraitors

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

I rocks the party, I rocks the house, I rocks the whole world, north, east and south.

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

@liztebb Ugh...

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

As we celebrate Awareness Month, please copy this status if you know anyone, or know anyone who knows anyone.

[Ian @ianaddison]

Does anyone know when half-term is?

Oh, don't worry, I worked it out.

[Alex Twist @alextwist]

Sitting with a sleeping baby, one of us has definitely shit their pants and I'm pretty sure it isn't me.

[James Hogg @JamesAHogg2]

Ever wondered how Electric Six would go down in a Victorian drawing room?

This is bordering on genius, in my humble opinion.

Good day to you.