Alex Wyman

live fast, pet dogs

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@ZoRogers Yep, DM me!

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@Oxford_Tube I’ve been waiting at Notting Hill Gate for 45 minutes now, is the service not running here or something?

[Hot Take Appreciator @IHateNYT]

I love being at my parents' house and getting asked "is this your glass? Can I put this in the dishwasher?" .001 seconds after putting a glass down

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@thetrainline Why is the refundable amount for my tickets only half of the total ticket price?

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@harveyhodd @thesauruscom Same as @dictionarycom

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

It feels like my gym has been breeding old pot-bellied Greek men over lockdown

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@BuschBeer @harryparsons94 😍💦

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

Turns out when your neighbour blasts Happy by Pharell on repeat for the first hour of your work morning it doesn’t do what it says on the tin

[Sally Gottschalk @georginasally]

Not sure if I should cook this or take it to hospital.

[Alex Wyman @alexwyman7]

@guy_stevens_13 Got to be Essien

[Discreet 🍥 @DiscreetLatino]

truly ahead of their time

[. @SuiNeltwork]

goofy’s ashes will be shot out of a t-shirt cannon at 2pm today on main street

[TomWalker.bsky.social @tomwalkerisgood]

so tired... just want to go to jed

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

This is how you know you’ve officially “made it”. My hotel has a frickin’ soda stream.

[Jordan 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝘆 @jojomartian]

*opening gifts*
me: :D

my mom: do you love it ⍢⃝

my dad: HEY EVERYONE PUT YOUR WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. Hey, tell your, TELL UR SISTER TO PUT THE WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. CAN YOU GRAB THAT PIECE FOR ME. Here what IF I HAND YOU THE BAG. DONT JUST THROW IT OVER THERE, I—

[Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey]

Oh, thank god. I loved her in Broadchurch.

[Eddie Strange @myrabbitran]

I saw a great image of a cow yearning for the sea earlier and repainted it to better fit the way it made me felt