Alexxus

gay tweets, gayer life, 27/f

[dictator mbapbella @7adorablereps]

kpop fans 24/7: this ugly girl can’t sing and looks a mess

the same kpop fans: i’m so concerned for this idol that looks so skinny i WONDER what their company is forcing her to do. and the other girl who also went on hiatus?? whats wrong with this company??

[logan @mascmaddox]

now mind you…

[angel @clicknoboyss]

Hot take yall are way too harsh on Katseye

[isa ✶⁶ @zoyaspearl]

NOBODY KNOWS YOU OUTTA CONTROL BUT I SEE A SIDE BEHIND THE CLOSE DOORS THEY GOT A GLIMPSE HERE ON THE DANCEFLOOR YOU MOVE LIKE AN ANIMAL

[ruth⁷🪭♡ @taeraesruth]

I'm genuinely terrified for Daniela from Katseye. The hate she's getting is not normal at all. I didn't know it was that bad. They're trying to break her completely

[becca ☾ bts 29 @ihaterussobros]

being anti ai in the workplace has people talking about you like you’re crazy

[ashley ➼⧗ @simplybishova]

she was only like 6 hours old and now they're making her save the multiverse

[REI AMI @reiamimami]

That raccoon with the short spine is my fav thing on the internet right now omg I want to feed him a taquito from 7/11

[kar @bustitopen420]

the air quality sucks, the food gives you explosive diarrhea, we have no public transport, medical care is unaffordable, they’re tearing down forests to build AI data centers and I still have to clock in for work

[Chris P. Gingerbeef @VtecPapi]

Sooooo lemme get this straight, they charged us for hotel stays cause they were too lazy to commute to and from downtown? But yet forced people to do those same commutes by getting rid of work from home policies and forcing them back in office? Is that right?

[bella² @wangenroete]

one can always count on lesbians to be on the right side of history

[Vitória @pordeusvitoria]

Apo sendo todas as linguagens de amor

#englot #อิงล็อต

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Courtney Theriault @cspotweet]

Canadians, after a bunch of American sports commentators mocked us for losing by 3 goals in the round of 16.

[Alexxus @alexxus77]

@FinalSpace @OlanRogers after 2 years, she has arrived and she looks BRILLIANT LOVELY EVERY GOOD WORD POSSIBLE

[stephen 🇹🇹 @stephenattong]

one of the best things about toronto is that there are legit maybe 20+ neighbourhoods that you can do this in

[dart @poordart]

Best one to ever do the meme

[bochoromi @bochorochoro]

everyone being dumb af thinking it's BTS or blackpink when it literally was kpop demon hunters 😭😭😭

[🐚 Captain Bench 💸 @capns_qrtrs]

the rest of katseye could literally say “we are not responsible for manon’s hiatus, it’s all related to the higher ups” and y’all would still call them fake sisters