alfa

[alfa @alfa_prz]

My crashout actually have no boundaries

[alfa @alfa_prz]

He told me I’m to pretty to do cocaine and i realized he’s never seen a hot girl in his life

[(g) ⋆ @colinfarrellsgf]

if i want to see a crackhead doing flips i would go to a gas station

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I go into meetings knowing everyone in there hates me 🧍🏻‍♀️

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I have bruises on my knees bc i fell down the stairs w my wired laundry basket and no one will believe me

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I hit my shin so hard i almost threw up

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I ride the hospital shuttle around to kill time between my appointments

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I hate when i get asked for my full government name for a contact just use the first name

[spor @sporadica]

y’all are getting, like, really gay about this now

[alfa @alfa_prz]

@EternoTuzo_Heat They picked the game I’m just grateful i was invited

[alfa @alfa_prz]

One time i was accused of cheating bc they didn’t believe i woke up early to go for a run

[alfa @alfa_prz]

26 means you get kicked of a job a day before you move (also a day before your bday)

[alfa @alfa_prz]

25means you get yelled at in your first 2 meetings of the day

[alfa @alfa_prz]

If i get fired im moving out of the country 🤞🏼

[alfa @alfa_prz]

Why are gyms so expensive I’d rather just get surgery

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

worth remembering that when Trump announced a travel ban in 2017, people literally went to airports to protest. Eight years later, Trump announces a new one and it's not even front page news.

We're the frogs and the water is getting awfully hot.

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I’ve gotten randomly searched 3 flights in a row i feel targeted

[alfa @alfa_prz]

Don’t get me wrong i took lessons when i was younger and just stopped going bc i couldn’t do it and my parents gave up on the bike bc i would cry

[alfa @alfa_prz]

I never really learned how to swim until it just kinda clicked for me on vacation and i decided i could

[alfa @alfa_prz]

and here’s what i mean i never learned how to ride a bike without training wheels until i was in college and late to class and i just kinda got it in a time of need bc i just said its time in my head