AlfredRapisarda

making my parents proud but not that proud

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

Lazy but still effective

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

@Xfinity @comcast what provider do yall recommend after I cancel every service I have with your company?

[Every Movie Plug @everymovieplug]

This Alternative Cut of Gus might just be the best one ever made 💯🔥

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

@snapchatsupport I’d do anything to get rid of the My Ai feature…. Except pay for it

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

@skumnut my band wants you to wear a t-shirt on stream! All about the climb

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

Goku when he found out two more saiyans were coming to Earth

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

waited on a family today and the mother ordered a beverage and showed me her ID. I thought “tf she doing? she’s like 35 at least” but of course didn’t say that. Turns out she was born in 98 and I’m so glad I’m aging at the rate I am

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

I let the other person to hang up after saying goodbye so if you don’t hang up, looks like we’re still talking

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

The day I make it out of my living situation is going to be so liberating

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

I’m gonna patent a hot sauce that doubles as pepper spray

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

Kylee and I are trying to find a movie and it’s not on streaming services. She then goes “we can just go to the video stor—… oh wait..”
ugh I hate the new world we live in

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

@whatever__manny @highlyykyleee

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

@JoeyCampbell8 Scrolling through old tweets and found this gem

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

A young lady I was waiting on at work last night told me I look like the kid from Juno (Michael Cera) and then proceeded to leave me her number on the check as if that was an appropriate sequence to hit on someone.

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

Follow one porn star and it’s immediately responded with a follow from every smut account on IG

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

Father’s Day is coming up and I’ll be working that day so I better start preparing my best dead dad jokes now

[AlfredRapisarda @alfredoofdeath]

So, at the dispensary I go to, I’m pretty friendly w 90% of the staff there, but most of them have taken the liberty of shortening my name to ‘Al’ which I detest to no end(both the nickname and their initiative).
Should I start correcting them? Or is it not worth my energy?

[Whiskey Riff @WhiskeyRiff]

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸