AA

say no to fascism 💙

[allison harvard burke @alliharvard]

i've pumped all my money into this fucking lizard

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

My daughter is not named AnaMae. But she did want an anime cake.

[AA @aliandrews1982]

Incense that smells like warm pop-tarts

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

I don’t think I’ll get 24 trick or treaters, but I bought a case of beer anyway.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://t.co/Kp8d3b4JZS

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

No disrespect your honor, but you weren’t even there

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

Jimmy Carter uses classified documents to insulate the houses he builds for charity.

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

Sure looks like my cat

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

Someone needs to tell Mile Lindell they aren’t going to let him bring his own pillow to prison.

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

I hope his hanging is on pay-per-view

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

I don’t often get calls from my bank about possible fraud, but when I do, I’ve probably been drinking.

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

It’s been a long December, the CDC says there is no reason to believe this year will be better than the last.

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

They’re changing the welcome sign

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

when I ask my wife what’s for dinner

[Fuck Every Word 2.0 @fckeveryword]

fuck bras

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

Cousin It is just a hairy minion

[AA @aliandrews1982]

Husband: I won $250 at the casino last night! Pick yourself out something for Mother’s Day!

Me: Congrats! I ordered $250 worth of new clothes online last night.

H: ...

Me: ...

H: Happy Mother’s Day!

💐🌸🌺

[AA @aliandrews1982]

Bill and Melinda Gates said May the 4th be without you

[Billy Eyelash @Grits_n_Gravy40]

Biden should give the next stimulus to vaccinated Americans only.

[Lauren Fox @FoxReports]

Sen. Brown tells reporters that he’s “incredulous” that the testimony this week hasn’t changed more minds, but “I’ve watched my spineless colleagues walk around with fear in their eyes for four years so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised”