Alexandria McCale

Alum of the NBC Late Night Writer's Workshop ‘19. Creative Writer, Comedian & Avid Collector of Debt.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Laziness walks in my family.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Until the Water Runs Clean - A lengthy memoir about washing period underwear.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

@joymamey Definitely. And you should start charging more lol.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

A therapist is kind of like an improv teacher. "okay, that was a choice. But let's talk about some stronger choices we could make in the future."

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

This Christmas I'm asking Santa for Peace on Earth*

*for Elon Musk to go live on Mars

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

I'm not a judge, but I have banged a Gavel. Nice guy, very fair.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

They named it 'Blonde' but by the end of it, you'll be 'Gray'

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

@weedglob couldn't have hated this film more.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Life is sad because everything I love in life always dies: my phone, my computer...

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Whoever said the only constant thing in life is change, needs to explain why I never seem to have enough quarters to do a single load of laundry.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

I don't know if I agree with Jeremy on this, but I do support having more communion wafers at crafty.

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

Jeremy Strong says acting is his religion: “I think it is a sacramental activity expressing faith, if that’s what a religion is. I feel wary of saying that because religion is religion and I don’t want to diminish what religion is. But for me, certainly" https://t.co/IRKsIp0UuT

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

I'm so glad Snow White has a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I bet that means a lot to her.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

I want to make one thing very clear. And that's my schedule.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Donald Trump sure has a lot of fires to put out right now. I blame bad forest management.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

I used to have problems. But now I have a jade roller.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Where did the time go? And can I go too?

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

My biggest pet peeve is being awake. Like... could we not? So annoying.

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Girls on dating shows: "He gives me butterflies in my stomach."
Me: "No honey, that's generalized anxiety! He gives you generalized anxiety..."

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

How fun! The weather is celebrating Labor Day by making my lungs labor to breathe!

[Alexandria McCale @alimccale]

Nowadays do all the hobbits buy their midday snacks from 7-Elevenses?