When you stand in Tahajjud tonight, ask Allah to remove every form of delay in your life. Whether in marriage, career or academics, may He clear every obstacle and grant you ease. Kun faya kun. When Allah wills something to happen, He simply says, "Be," and it is. Keep believing.
Ya Wahhab, the Giver without measure, You who granted Maryam a child without a man and parted the sea for Musa with only a staff, I come before You with empty hands, Ya Kareem. Grant me directly from Your treasures, not through means, not through delay, but by Your divine “Kun fayakūn.” Send me mercy, an opening, and a relief that only You can decree.
Dear Parents,
I want to share one parenting secret with you. The one you won’t find in your regular blogs. And trust me, regardless of your faith, you will find this tip beneficial.
I want to explain why some kids become completely stubborn the more you punish them. I am doing this because I got some messages yesterday from people who have kids in the diaspora and how their kids have become stone-hearted to their parents’ warnings. It is indeed painful.
Remember that I mentioned the monumental book of Imam Al-Ghazali, Ihya’ Ulum al-Din. We have more things to learn from it.
In this book, he talked about a fragile part of a child's mind called the “Veil of Shame.” Note: Every child has this because they are born upon Fitrah (purity of the soul).
When a child does something bad for the first time, they usually try to hide it. They are afraid of being caught because they still value their dignity in your eyes.
The scholars explained that if a parent exposes the child, screams, yells at them, and punishes every mistake, you are tearing down their veil of shame.
Once a child realizes you already see them as a bad person, the humiliation has happened. They stop caring. You have destroyed their internal brakes. When they have no dignity left to protect, they will start doing those bad things openly and boldly.
How do you notice this in your child?
You can tell this is happening in your child when they stop trying to hide their mistakes and start becoming brazen or "strong-headed" when caught. This is a sign that the veil is thinning.
To fix this, you need to use a concept called Taghaful. It translates to intentional ignorance or pretending you did not see a fault.
Our Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us this. He did this with a young companion called Usama bin Zaid. But I see that our parents, due to their high expectations, are often too impatient to look away.
If you catch your child doing a hidden wrong, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pretend you did not see it. Do not confront them and strip them of their respect.
Instead, bring up the topic later in a general conversation. Tell a story about why that action is destructive, without looking at them or accusing them. Let their own conscience do the punishing. Let them repent and fix it in secret.
A parent who hunts down every small mistake will end up raising a child who has no shame left to lose.
Let me know if you want more of these scholarly parenting tips. I will be willing to share. My DM is full with different issues. I cannot answer everything, but I am sure with these tips, a lot of those issues will be solved by God’s grace.
Thank you for your attention.
Allah knows best.
How to stop sounding like an AI:
(a quick step-by-step guide)
1. Go to Wikipedia
2. Search "Signs of AI writing."
3. Open the full article.
4. Do Ctrl+A. Then Ctrl+C.
5. Open a Google Doc. Paste everything.
6. Don't edit. Don't summarize. The full thing.
7. Rename the doc "anti-ai-writing-style."
8. Click File → Download → Markdown (.md)