Ali Pease

i’m not funny but my retweets are.

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

hearing a beloved friend say the words “can i be mean for a sec” is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

[muva @riannealana]

these mosquitos will deadass pull your pants down and eat your ass

[Rixx @the_nutcrackee]

The inside of my brain when someone is giving me directions of a place I'm not familiar with

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

my greatest pleasure is getting home and walking around like this:

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Maybe Mitch McConnell is secretly taping "The Masked Singer." We don't know.

[bri @bribrisimps]

the devil hears that you’re nauseous and sends you a tesla uber that is heavily air freshened

[Rata 🌇 @RANK10YGO]

if a website asks me for a verification code and i check my email and it's not in there within 0.1 picosecond of the request i roar and swing my arms madly and start hurting those close to me

[fresh @fauxfresh]

couldn’t tell you nothing about this show other than i loved it

[Mara Webster 🇬🇧🇺🇸 @Mara_Webster]

If anybody asks how I’m doing right now I’m going to send them this video as a representation of my current state of mind

[Lammie_Art @Lammie_Art01]

A fly will enter your house through a microscopic gap in the space time continuum but cannot locate a fully open patio door for 6 8 business hours

[TVP @Theveripost]

if you had one of these growing up, 9/10 you's a real classy bad bitch now
*sips tea *☕️

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Me whenever the stars are visible

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Microdosing hell by being aware and literate

[Mackenzie Kelly @mkelly007]

The Pease Park troll cost about $300,000 to build, funded by private donors who wanted to create something magical for Austin.

And now it sits burned down. A pile of ashes surrounded by caution tape.

A giant wooden troll where kids laughed, families took photos, and people stopped for a moment to enjoy something whimsical in the middle of the city… gone.

It’s hard not to feel like this is symbolic of something bigger. We build beautiful things in Austin, and somehow we keep finding them destroyed.

Sometimes it really feels like we just can’t have nice things anymore. #atxcouncil

[Cris ✨ @lionesspike]

the most maddening part about ai in a work setting is how managers are willing to accept completely subpar work created by ai that they would NEVER in a million years accept from a real person

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

No vote in Tennessee (+1 GOP)
No vote in Florida (+4 GOP)
No vote in Missouri (+1 GOP)
No vote in North Carolina (+2 GOP)
No vote in Texas (+5 GOP)

Virginia’s voter-approved maps thrown out.

MAGA has rigged the system.

[死 @humanxmaybe]

i hope this email kills us both instantly

[emilie @emiliepfrank]

this is when you go get a diet coke

[L7 | Petey @peteyburn]

The secret to making plans as an adult is texting all your friends at 9:30am when everybody’s Adderall starts hitting

[cosmic cowgirl 🪩🤠 @blockhim2026]

I’m sorry I never texted you back it’s just that my adhd walks me like a dog