ALR

[ALR @alirittman]

@taylorswift13 @taylornation13 I was supposed to get married in this venue today (postponed due to COVID), but it has never been more fitting, 💙 your #1 fan https://t.co/kidU1cSRAC

[ALR @alirittman]

@taylorswift13 PLEASEEEEEE tell me this Netflix concert means that I can buy the Bad Blood and Should’ve Said No mix soon! BEST MASHUP EVER!!! Of all time. Ever.

[ALR @alirittman]

“Score here. Stop em. Score again. Halftime. Score again. We’re still in this.” -my very optimistic boyfriend.

[ALR @alirittman]

Currently at the Music City Bowl. Please Venmo me (@alirittman) for beer money to help me through these hard times. @HammerAndRails

[ALR @alirittman]

@ellentmac I’ve measured. Honestly less than 3 fingers!!! And no visible wrinkles at age 25 has to count for something, right???

[ALR @alirittman]

Basically a prophet (if you lose the 2.5 year old sarcasm).

[ALR @alirittman]

At least there's football!!! #BoilerUp

[ALR @alirittman]

@NukeBoiler @HammerAndRails Goose poop. Throughout the entire stadium. Not even confiscated to a particular section.

[ALR @alirittman]

Memorial stadium is literally shit. @HammerAndRails

[ALR @alirittman]

Having a dead fly in your sandwich certainly makes for a more thrilling lunch break. I am thoroughly disgusted @whichwich

[ALR @alirittman]

"Life is too short to be eating things like flaxseed." -@annemac11

[ALR @alirittman]

My uber driver invited me to hang out with his and his wife's burlesque troop. Life is good.

[ALR @alirittman]

#KathyKrushEverday brought to you by Timehop @katiewmcdowell

[ALR @alirittman]

I wish I were Nick Jonas's leather pants RN.

[ALR @alirittman]

Speaking of VMAs, how famous do I have to be before I can acceptably say "it's Ali bitch"

[ALR @alirittman]

"Did you see the commercial for the cheesy core burrito at Taco Bell" - @KatieWMcDowell texting me during the VMAs #kathykrusheveryday

[ALR @alirittman]

Happy humpday! I hope you all tappa tappa'd Kathy!!!! [Cc: @KatieWMcDowell #kathykrusheveryday]

[ALR @alirittman]

When someone reminds you that it's only Tuesday... [cc: @sydneymdehaven]

[ALR @alirittman]

Mondays....

[ALR @alirittman]

Things I look up while drinking post grad: "can you overdose on tums?"....and who says getting older isn't fun?!?!

[Evan Bass @ebassclinics]

Pro tip: if at first you don't succeed, talk shit about someone and it usually works..