Alison P. Hunter

Relevant. Spherical.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

"Pioneer" is American vernacular English for "colonist".

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Difficult things to explain to children and space aliens:
People sometimes use initialization to explain things. Amazingly, they often don't know what the letters stand for, even though they stand for words that support the concept they are trying to explain.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Same kid has now been taught that "for crying out loud!" is a really good thing to say.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Yesterday I taught a 2 year old that you can dry your hands with your hair 👍

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

@Stitchify That's what I'm saying!

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

We should have done more to protect people from Sex and the City.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Dear fingers,
You are astonishing. You are the only way I can fing the world around me. I love you. I hope I spend the rest of my life with you.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Yesterday I saw a motorcycle with a side car with a dog wearing goggles.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Three times in the last year, a man explained to me that hot air rises.

I wish the third time was after I said something like "WHAT?!" to the second time, but you can bet these explanations were offered by the same person during one 20-minute conversation 👍

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Beyonce is to feminism what a sparkly slogan is to a tee shirt.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Difficult things to explain to children and space aliens:

Human adults spend more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them. This “planning” consumes a significant amount of time and mental energy.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

@spozbo I have no evidence of this, but I heard of an art project that measured your heart rate as you played a video game. If you became excited by winning, you lost.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-WCW

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Here's one way to respond:

"RRR Campaigns - TST" https://t.co/HcTZYf13ly

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

If it says it "supports immune health", it's trash. That's not how it works.

-Rumi

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Difficult things to explain to children and space aliens:

I start the location tracking on my running app only after I'm a few blocks from my house, and a thousand other things, because my personal safety is something I think about constantly.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

"The fuck do you know about it?" -my mom, who has Alzheimer's, to a bird.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

It's real nice that the era of life coaches seems to be behind us.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Difficult things to explain to children and space aliens:

Drug pushers aren’t actually a thing. The drugs push themselves, and the personification of corruption is based in racism, not reality.

[Alison P. Hunter @alisonphunter]

Shout out to men who couple with age appropriate women ❤️