AlkeHOL

And when she stood, she stood tall.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@Skeeter4RealTho TAX THEFT

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

Warm white Christmas lights are elite.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@GHardstark @HallieRubenhold also has a podcast called Bad Women that tells the story of The Five, it’s one of my favorites!

Also, chicken nuggets with regular honey is the way to go!

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

Why is there a new Harry Potter series AND The Office series? My simple mind can’t handle this.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

Don’t ask me how many pieces of toast I’ve eaten tonight.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@StevenRayMorris @ExactlyRight But let’s talk about the hot dog in your drink?🧐

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@StevenRayMorris What exactly were you telling your cat not to do?

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

Adam Driver as Snape and I won’t entertain anyone else. @hbomax #HarryPotterHBOMax

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

As a parent, 5-7 is the longest yet fastest 2 hours of my life.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

This is me not watching cleaning videos on Tik Tok while my house is a mess.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

Me watching The Floor is Lava - “I could do that”

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

I remember 15 minutes ago when I thought I could transfer my baby from his car seat to the crib. Good times.

[Roman Akramovich @SyedAkramin]

Money be like -

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@ashkell83 Maybe…but have you had toasted English Muffin bread? 👀

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@KarenKilgariff I just spent the first 3 minutes of the This Is Criminal episode thinking it was you pretending to be Phoebe Judge. #fuckinghooray

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

We get it, you’re mad about the Emergency Broadcast Alert.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@drewrachel @UberFacts Ain’t no one better lookin’ than Sue Bob.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

I’m still surprised by how stupid so many people can be. You’d think I would have learned by now. I must be stupid.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@SwordAndScale I almost ignored your warnings & sent an email anyway. But didn’t! However I do know a good Nebraska one that is crazy that happened blocks away from Warren Buffet’s modest home.

[AlkeHOL @alke_hol]

@JeffProbst why does your bio not say “come on in, guys” - I need to know!