Last journal entry...
STOP LIVING IN FEAR — FEAR OF LOVE, FEAR OF REJECTION, FEAR OF NOT BEING VALUED, FEAR OF SECURITY IM SOMEONE AGAIN. BIHH YOURE TOXIC BECAUSE OF THIS
let me get this right. Brie Larson was harassed by men for MONTHS. Zendaya was bullied for being MJ bc she’s biracial, Mackie was bullied for becoming Captain America and the Avengers were SILENT, but Chris Pratt gets called the “worst” Chris and it’s Avengers Assemble?
I think I’m going to only date myself for a while. I don’t want to cause stress to someone who is working on dating themselves. I should give her space. I’ll let her tell me what she wants
my guard is up and i can’t seem to tear it down. I don’t want to keep having her jump through all these hoops... when i keep seeing signs that I’m not ready.
I’m sad. I think i am the most sad because i don’t feel like trying with someone new. I’m too complicated. Too damaged and i know it’s going to get easier but rn I’m scared