Erica Meade

I'm not a social media strategist. Neither am I an alcohol trailblazer, whatever that is. And I avoid parallel parking up to a five block radius.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

Unfollow your dreams!

(marketing Twitter here, obviously)

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

When someone you're really into had one too many to maintain good make out game.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

I imagine you all just think "Thank fuck I managed not to say that... Now where can I get rid of it?" and that's why I'm following.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

When you've had enough drinks to start assessing your most novel ideas about bowling.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

Ask your doctor if flu vaccine is left for you.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

[me talking to kids]

So what do you wanna be when you give up?

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

Plot twist: We were China all along.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

I'm having some difficulties balancing my time budget. It's weird because my income hasn't changed.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

I'm not biased. Some of my best friends are Donald Trump.

[AmberTozer @AmberTozer]

When you're about to tell them that last night was fun but you don't want a relationship right now

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

The world's tallest mermaid.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

When you were positive you used a semicolon correctly but someone puts you in place.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

On a scale of one to ten, who the hell is this Kanye?

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

"Italian food" means "saturated fats served on a kingsize bed of stupid carbs" in italian. In english it means "stuff my face full of that".

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

And as you read this tweet your eye lids are becoming heavier. You're decending into state of complete... relaxation…

Not working, huh?

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

The best part of sneezing with headphones on is getting to listen to music at a godzillion decibels for a split second.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

Your focused meditation sounds great but have you heard of naps? I think they will blow your mind!

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

Hold it right there. You need to fill out this eye contact form first.

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

*knocks on gates of hell*

Yeah... Hi there! I heard you dismiss christians here. Can I come in and take a look?

[Erica Meade @AllAboutRicki]

When you're all pooped after a long knight shift.