alli

[alli @alli02484292]

how would one order an assassin i’m asking for a friend

[alli @alli02484292]

how are you gonna apply for a job and then when i email/call/text you over and over and for weeks the requirements to be completed suddenly you're on summer vacation

enjoy your vacation! *deletes application from system* lmao

[alli @alli02484292]

taco bell what the fuck is this new small size it's half the size it was two weeks ago

[alli @alli02484292]

considering offering graphic design services to my corporate company bc their monthly newsletter looks atrocious

but also f corporate america, stay ugly

[alli @alli02484292]

psa, it's actually really fucking weird for someone to be in a two year relationship and still be reposting shit on fb throwing shade at their ex......that cheated on them 🤭

[alli @alli02484292]

*me in 2079*

credit karma: "here's why we think you should add a 63rd credit line"

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

Funny how that works

Via @Leahgreenb

[alli @alli02484292]

not the insulation guy coming out of the attic to ask where the FIVE FOOT LONG SNAKE IS

[alli @alli02484292]

i can't tell u how ridiculous and rude the alabaster jim n nicks location is for taking my chicken sandwich to the back and wiping the bbq sauce off to put the correct sauce on 🤢

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

Good morning and Happy Wednesday to everyone who remembers that we legislated laws for wearing seatbelts in cars, against driving under the influence, and cigarette smoking, so why are we still waking up after a long weekend to news of 3 mass shootings in Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Fort Worth, TX?

Will an assault weapons ban stop ALL mass shooting deaths? No. But neither did the seatbelt law prevent ALL deaths, nor did the drunk driving law prevent all vehicular deaths.

But those deaths were reduced drastically. And the deaths were reduced drastically the LAST time we passed an assault weapons ban in the 90s.

Gun violence is now the leading cause of death for children and teens in the United States. Don't we owe it to them to try everything in our power to reduce those deaths? Especially when we have PROOF that it worked before???

BAN ASSAULT WEAPONS.

[alli @alli02484292]

actually nvm bc they didn't even get my order right fuck u jimmy johns 💖😊🌈

[alli @alli02484292]

am i wrong or is asking drive thru customers to tip a little wild

[alli @alli02484292]

drs office: please check in 15 mins prior to your appt
dr: *is 20 mins late*

[alli @alli02484292]

@_mariahjo_ definitely in ur lifetime!!! how cool 😀

[trash jones @jzux]

uh oh

[alli @alli02484292]

@_mariahjo_ literally why is he out here acting brand new and shocked at republicans republicanning

[alli @alli02484292]

like this if u think he still isn't going to cancel it

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

More evidence that the economy is growing and inflation is coming down: the economy grew solidly in the first quarter, with real incomes up for Americans.

Annual inflation is down by around half from last summer – and is at the lowest rate since April 2021.

This is Bidenomics.

[Simone @girlpowertbh]

When it comes to Barbie marketing I am but a pink cog in the capitalist machine