Alli Wowzza

The longest book I ever read was my twitter feed.

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

#truefriend #homegirlcangetit

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

*texts mom with iPhone X*

Hey... will you please take some pictures of me in portrait mode tomorrow?

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

What exactly is a “serving size”, and who gets to dictate how much that is???

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

When I only ate 400 calories for breakfast and lunch but then realize it’s girls night at mom’s house and I’m gonna drink twice my weight in wine...

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@AlexandraSCody @sexyhedden I USED TO STACK SANDWICHES FOR HOURS. And play the Suite Life of Zac&Cody!

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

“I kinda wish I had a kid”
“Why?”
“So I’d have some to blame for my muffin top and fat ass.”

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

Umm.. Have you heard? 20% OFF right now at Flat Tummy Co. 💁🏻‍♀️💋

https://t.co/DtgUjGWCao via @flattummyco

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

How I literally felt when I saw Kendall’s lips... #SheWasTheRealestOne

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@rachhans PLEASE DO. ILL ILLUSTRATE IT. 💁🏻‍♀️💩

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@sexyhedden I can’t wait until normal-sized lips, no boobs, and greasy hair is in style... #waitingourturn 😂

[Kendall @KendallJenner]

i just like bagels ok!!! https://t.co/4IxM9ECLOs

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

“How much would it cost to get my hair cut like this?”

*shows picture*

“About $100”

“Ok, it’s chill. I have scissors at home...”

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

“She’s so skinny, I wish I looked like that.”

“Yeah, I used to look like that before I started eating my feelings and counting the walk to my car as cardio.”

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

I think @sexyhedden is only following me on Instagram so she can tag me in Giveaway posts 😂

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@sexyhedden ur avi is hot btw 😠

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@sexyhedden I love cheez. I also love when you reply to my texts. 💋❤️

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

What color lighter do you want?

Dodgers lost, fuck it I'll get a white one...

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

Honey, you should know better than to trust someone you met at a lingerie party...

[Alli Wowzza @alli_wowzza]

@sexyhedden Fresh gels. And my nails are REAL.