Allie Garner

I probably love your pet more than you do.

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

Me: Man, I just wanna eat skittles all day!
3rd grade student: Why, Ms. Allie? Are you sad?
#ThingsMyStudentsSay 😂

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

Me: Babe, how are you gonna propose?
Bae: What are you talking about? I’m just gonna come in here and throw the ring on your bed.
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😐
😐
🤨 Absolutely not.

#AreYouBeingSerious

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

People will always try to tell you who you are. But that’s not for them to decide.

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

@fraawhit Bad 🙄🙄🙄 why am I always bad 🙄

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

9yo: freckles are just the sun giving you kisses. The sun must love you a lot. 😳

[Keith Carver @KC4UTIA]

Just sitting here wondering if Keke loves chips and salsa. #InMyFeelingsChallenge

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

@kristinlb15: he works at a car dealership now
Me: I didn’t know he could after his D.U.I.
9 y.o: ...I can spell

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

@R33D_R33D Shame on you. 😂

[Bambi @SaiyanPineapple]

In light of Kat Von D coming out as an anti-vaxxer here’s a list of vegan makeup brands you can buy instead of supporting someone who supports indirectly killing children:

• ABH
• Urban Decay
• Tarte
• Becca
• Elf
• Hourglass
• Too Faced
• Bite
• Nyx
And many more....

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

9 yo: you’ve been at the beach for 2 weeks
Me: yep!
9 yo:...but why aren’t you tan?

#thanks

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

Nobody wants to see your gym selfie.

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

A couple of weeks ago, I read The Lorax to my students. Then I asked them to write a letter to Mother Earth. This is what one of my children came up with. Sometimes they are sweet. 😂 #ThingsMyStudentsSay #TheLorax #Kindergarten

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

@KC4UTM Aw, I received the “Most Caring” award when I went there. Glad to see they are still doing this!

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

@JeremiahWhitem1 @MobilePatrolApp Of course 😂

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

So, is @MobilePatrolApp just not up loading mug shots anymore? 👀

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

5yo: I can tie shoes. I love you.
Well, alright. 😂

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

Conversations with a 9yo
Me: fun fact, rats can’t throw up
9yo: wow. Can I be a rat? [looks at ceiling and whispers] just kidding
😂😂😂

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

“He looks smart and dumb at the same time.” Wise words from a preteen

[Allie Garner @allie_garner]

I just overheard a professor say “Students ruin my day.” 😂 #YoureInTheWrongProfession