Alligator Pear

I went to a ball, I got a trophy, and now everybody wants to know me.

[Alligator Pear @AlligatorPear]

@Nero the comments 💀

[Alligator Pear @AlligatorPear]

@sweetlikeJT nonplussed means confused.

[Alligator Pear @AlligatorPear]

@sugarbbychris Herstory even

[Jaimz @le_jaimz]

My great-great aunt Jl’O arriving to the USA after escaping Ireland’s Great Potato Famine.

[melissa broder @melissabroder]

this is why we can't have nice serotonin

[Just J @junejuly12]

Women who choose men shorter than them are the real heroes

[Erikka @whatevererikka]

Know what I like about you? *grabs bicep*

[Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad]

Oh, you're a vegan? Sorry I didn't hear you the first 8,000 times you told me.

[elijah daniel @elijahdaniel]

Potholes so deep they start reading poetry.

[Carly Incontro @carlyincontro]

*snapchats your casket going into the ground*

[Go to Bluesky to save your brain -- L O L G O P @LOLGOP]

Crazy gay people expecting all kinds of special rights, like being able to buy stuff with money.

[Chicha Roan @jush_for_fun]

Why does Kylie Jenner even need to darken her skin, isn’t she dark enough already standing in her sisters’ shadows

[elijah daniel @elijahdaniel]

every girl named Ashley is going on spring break to Mexico and is going to get pregnant.

[Anntsy @_Anntics10]

just shut up and love me

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

It's ironic that cigarette breaks are OK to take but masturbation breaks at work we'll get you fired. What's worse for your health?

[♤ Ｎ 🦂 ♟🥨 @cynicalblubird]

No one is ever worth losing your mind over.

[so sad today @sosadtoday]

diet tip: give up

[𝖛𝖎𝖛𝖎 𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖙 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 @LieutenantNemu]

fuck my job. I want 2 pursue my dreams as an escort