allie :)

absolutely bonkers

[allie :) @alliparker4]

The year is 2025, only two scientists are left to save us from coronavirus. Who are you putting your faith in?

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa Only if it’s downhill the whole way!

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa You

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa ~coffee infused~ you’re on to something

[Jim Hall @jhall]

@elonmusk Elon what can we do about BIG GAS hiding this from us all these years??

[allie :) @alliparker4]

23 years on this earth and I still don’t know how to dress for 50 degrees

[allie :) @alliparker4]

I don’t hate winter bc it gets dark at 4pm. I hate winter bc I can’t eat lunch outside and hide from my coworkers.

[allie :) @alliparker4]

Affogato with coffee ice cream

[allie :) @alliparker4]

I don’t normally drink but when I do it’s bc I’m in a social situation and I don’t know what to do with my hands

[allie :) @alliparker4]

They should do Black Friday for houses

[allie :) @alliparker4]

It’s very important that you always have some chips and some dips for when you’re just a little hungry at 10pm

[allie :) @alliparker4]

Cranking the bidet to full power just to feel something

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa City girl hacks!

[allie :) @alliparker4]

The problem is I love the act of snacking but very much dislike snack foods

[allie :) @alliparker4]

Something about eating a cheese stick as an adult just doesn’t sit right with me

[allie :) @alliparker4]

Hello yes cancer research is my job but also my coworker-bees are fundraising so more can be done :) Please consider sending dollars so they think I'm cool/ so I will not be suffering 50 miles for nothing xoxo https://t.co/oPyn0Icql4

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa @parker_tony9 @DraftKings Greatest NFL goalie of all time 🙌🏆

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@parker_tony9 @DraftKings Okay go off.

[allie :) @alliparker4]

@PantslessGrndpa Club goin up @ Smeegs apartment

[allie :) @alliparker4]

So Barry Marshall gets a Nobel Prize for drinking bacteria and giving himself ulcers but when I eat something questionable and give myself food poisoning I get a “Allie why’d tf did you eat that?”

It sure is an unjust world.