i’m going to make myself a chart like parents do for kids except i get gold stars for things like “not pressing snooze 5 times” “didn’t get mcdonald’s on the way home from work” “drank 64oz of water” then i add up all my stickers for the week and that’s how many whiteclaws i get
i hope we find out in like 10 years that juuls severely fuck u up and give u and ur entire bloodline webbed feet or some shit and our grandkids like why we all got webbed feet and we have to tell them it’s because we smoked a gay USB