allison conner

mama always said I was borderline artistic

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Aaaaaaand here we are 🙃 I'd say it's going well with Jacqueline "Jackie" Chan and Stanley Stewart Little

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Apparently shelter pets are at risk right now because no one is adopting or fostering.

SOOO if anyone has a shit ton of kittens that need fostering, that is a cross I am willing to bear 👌🏻

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Thanks @ajrbrothers for spending 1,066 minutes with me in 2022. Top 1%. Where's my fuckin medal?

I'll settle for a free ticket.
#SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/qzwGq2unex

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

An airport oxymoron:
People who STAND on the MOVING WALKway

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Unpopular Opinion:

Pet overpopulation is a myth. Americans just don't like seeing stray dogs or cats.

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Ladies, is it a red flag on a date, if your guy orders a glass of milk with dinner?

I vote: absolute deal breaker

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Guess she overheard me discussing financial woes 🤷‍♀️

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

@elonmusk-- Just toured the Colosseum-- an arena the ancient rich paid for the poor to have access to to create peace. Maybe you can subdue present day class unrest, by giving every American season passes to their local NFL team?

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Can't wait to see Trump pardon every prisoner and set em loose just so he can make the fear about "Bidens Police Free America" come true

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Just a reminder that your pro-choice friends and family aren't lovers of killing fetuses--
they just choose to see the issue as "grey" instead of "black and white".

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Seattle's Leading Local News: Weather, Traffic, Sports and More | Seattle, Washington | https://t.co/f0VeAb0sub | https://t.co/gkaMMgD3N0 https://t.co/PshunkKko6

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

@KennethMcaloon Dad what

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

When your patient pulls the "in distress" bathroom light and the whole team goes running just to find out she was in the shower and couldn't reach her towel 🙃

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

My biggest turn off is the kind of person who lives a boring life and is afraid of change 🙃

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

A car turned in front of me today without using a turn signal, and out of pure rage I yelled "Well you can fuck the fuck off!"

and now that's my new favorite phrase

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Struggles only people with first names starting with "A" understand:

Being more likely to be butt dialed by family and random acquaintances since you rank higher in someone's contact list 😅

[Adam Met @AdamAJRbrothers]

CONCRETE ACTION 2/2

[Unrig LA @UnrigLA]

Even Garcetti’s rich white neighbors get it more than he does.

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Sentence I never thought I'd say until I lived in Louisiana:
"Is there a hurricane fixin' to come on Friday?"

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

Missing Japan for some reason so I ate a Japanese breakfast-- white rice, with a mixed raw egg + soy sauce mixture poured on top, eaten with dry seaweed strips. 🍚 Somewhere in Japan, there's a native eating a bowl of cereal saying "felt American today"

[allison conner @allisonconnurse]

If you've never woken up to a warm kitty spooning you, then you haven't experienced true love