Allison Elizabeth

If Lorelai Gilmore can do it so can I.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

3-year-old: Can you get me a snack?

Me: I just got you one.

3: It made me hungry for more snacks.

The struggle is real.

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

You have to check out this yarn store! I'm addicted! https://t.co/ubFtOWjCL6

[Kate @yergirlkate]

I missed the boat on a summer bod but it's okay cause my "looks decent in leggings and a mens' flannel while holding a cider mill donut" bod is READY TO GO, FRIENDS

[quintessential 80s dad @bamitsbland]

Hello this is ur friendly reminder that it is totally normal to have some tummy in fitted dresses, rock dat poodge ladies it’s fine alright thanks for coming to my ted talk

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

I just spent 4 minutes trying to figure out why I couldn't get rid of a flagged edit in my Word document...it was a red mark on my computer screen.

That's my day, ladies and gents. I'm done.

[Wendell Berry @WendellDaily]

How we eat determines, to a considerable extent, how the world is used.

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

On weekends I wake up to the smell of coffee wafting to the bedroom while a “starving” cat terrorizes the hallways by galloping about.

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

It also says a lot about who you were as an 8th grader... https://t.co/yoTQx9R7L4

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

Things @amazon is good for #72:: When you have to provide the last 10 years of residencies for a federal background check (order history to the rescue!).

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

Things @amazon is good for #72:: When you have to provide the last 10 years of residencies for a federal background check (order history to the rescue!).

[Andy Sipes @andysipes]

.@OfficialKat Talks Breaking the Sci-Fi Heroine Mold in Dallas & Robo https://t.co/Mt2NtbIr59 via @pastemagazine

[Allison Elizabeth @allisonemcgrath]

Dallas & Robo:: The show I never knew I needed and can’t live without- @OfficialKat (Spunky Trucker) and @JohnCena (A.I. Mechanic) cross the new...ish frontier hauling cargo and somehow escaping every escapade unscathed.

[YouTube @YouTube]

Someone asked if we could make a show in which @JohnCena and @OfficialKat play truckers in space, and we made that oddly specific request a reality. #DallasandRobo is here! 🚀 https://t.co/9THg1diy9C

[Omni ☕️ @InfernoOmni]

Classes That SHOULD Be Mandatory in High School:

- Accounting
- Money Management
- Taxes
- How to Build and Keep Good Credit
- Establishing a Job/Career
- Nutrition
- Self-Defense

Also, Americans should be forced to be fluent in at least one other language.

[Hell On Heels @HellOnHeelsGirl]

The reason we all watch silly TV is because it’s a great break from our real lives. Now let me watch my jersey shore in peace.

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

this morning at 7-eleven i saw a lizard next to the coffee maker and the cashier said "no worries that's just marvin, he likes the smell"

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Duke. He roar. 13/10 would follow into battle

[Lesley Goldberg @Snoodit]

Kat Dennings to Star in ABC Comedy Based on 'How May We Hate You’ https://t.co/GXFRP0Ryso @OfficialKat