Allison Rose

Medical Laboratory Scientist 🔬// all tweets affiliated with this account are my opinions and not those of my employer.

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

I can’t really put my finger on why but the fact that this car dealership is blasting Katy Perry’s “waking up in Vegas” is sending me. Absolutely unhinged vibes in here rn

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

Thinking about the time I met someone from a dating app and he was legitimately surprised that I didn’t look like my snapchat bitmoji

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

spooky szn 🎃 #NewProfilePic

[Anne Rumsey Gearan @agearan]

Per @NPR Justice Ginsburg’s deathbed statement is this: “My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new President is installed.”

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

My boyfriend told me to send him a picture of my tampon box so he could buy the right ones to keep at his house. Why have I not experienced this level of intimacy until today 🥺

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

Face ID not unlocking my phone when i ugly cry

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

There are few things I enjoy more than a solid plan. If you tell me to “show up whenever,” I will simply not show up.

And that’s on my social anxiety.

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

I put on a full face of makeup and straightened my hair just to go...socially distance in a Belle Tire waiting area 🥴
I miss having real reasons to attempt to look cute

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

I accidentally got put in a group chat of (I’m assuming) recent Ferris pharmacy school graduates. I have infiltrated the group and no one suspects anything. Updates to come. 🕵🏼‍♀️

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

I’m this 🤏🏻 close to doing one of those “truth is” Facebook statuses.

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

Due to the distress brought on by COVID-19, I stand before you and solemnly announce that I will only be drinking wine in bed until further notice. Please do not contact me with any questions or requests at this time, unless it is to drop off more wine. Thank you.

[Johnny LaZebnik @jlazebnik]

attention: due to fear of getting coronavirus, i will not be having a boyfriend at this time. that is the only reason! please do not believe rumors that “no one is interested” or “i make it very difficult to love me”

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

Since I’ve started dating again I’ve developed a recurring twitch in my right eye and I refuse to believe that’s simply coincidental.

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

#NewProfilePic

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

Yeah I’m going to get drunk this weekend and yeah I’m probably going to sing Toby Keith’s mega hit “Red Solo Cup” and everybody else is just going to have to deal with it.

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

My Valentine’s Day became a real life episode of Naked and Afraid when the maintenance guy got here to fix my shower drain while I was in the shower 🙃

[Allison Rose @AllisonLepley]

A girl at the bar last night told me my face has a beautiful bone structure. I will be riding this high for, at the bare minimum, the next two weeks