crabigail

i once was a young warthog ✖️

[crabigail @alltheabby]

America’s grasp on the Coronavirus is like when the professor tells you about the final project on the first day of class but you wait until the last week of the semester to do anything.

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@DcolaoDenvers @KDVR Shooting occurred in Greeley

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@TomcatBoozehat @dog_rates Oh my fucking god

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@TomcatBoozehat @dog_rates Omg 😍 this made my day

[crabigail @alltheabby]

I would like thank not only God but Jesus for turning 24 last year so my dad can’t claim me on his taxes anymore 🤗

[crabigail @alltheabby]

“Sorry I’ve been really busy” is the universal code for “I got tired of the other person I was talking to/they stopped replying and you’re my next best option”

[crabigail @alltheabby]

Sometimes I want to drop out of school to do hoodrat shit with my friends all the time but then I remember I also want to have money and I’m not made for the OnlyFans life

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@paramountplus coming over from CBS and my login won’t work and I’ve been on hold with customer service for half an hour. Whats yo with that

[crabigail @alltheabby]

I need more friends who are down for spontaneous road trips

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@sydneystultz22 @DermotKennedy Here from @DermotKennedy insta story 😂❤️

[sydney stultz @sydneystultz22]

The first thing I’m doing once this pandemic ends is going to a @DermotKennedy gig

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@DeeOtch17 Our class barely had graduation announcements picked, I can’t trust anyone to plan a reunion

[crabigail @alltheabby]

I’d like to personally thank COVID for cancelling my HS class reunion this year.

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@DeeOtch17 I’m actually not sure but I’m glad it would have been cancelled regardless 😂

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@Amazon is “secure location” code for “never delivered”?

[Striggity @35mmPapi]

Why is bacon packaging not resealable. Get on my fucking nerves.

[crabigail @alltheabby]

Name a better Friday morning notification

[K A C E Y @KaceyMusgraves]

This you @realDonaldTrump?

[crabigail @alltheabby]

And another thing: if you indicate with your left blinker but merge right, your moms a hoe.

[crabigail @alltheabby]

IDK who needs to hear this but one headlight being out doesn’t justify having your highbeams on all the time

[crabigail @alltheabby]

@Fleetwood_Nach Don’t forget the time he tried to tell us Jared kushner directed Star Wars