ally

one of Bob Ross’s happy accidents🎗

[ally @allybman]

I love everything about getting my hair dyed. The intoxicating smell, the burning scalp, the occasional 10 pounds of foil to block out aliens and Trumps America, and the feeling of a new me

[Pittsburgh Scanner @pgh_scanner]

Homewood. 6701 Frankstown Ave - Sunoco. An argumentative elderly possibly intoxicated male told the call taker that his body is breaking down. Like me too, man.

[emilie @emiliepfrank]

this remains the most decisive action on gun control america has ever seen

[Pittsburgh Scanner @pgh_scanner]

Beechview. Los Angeles Street. An out of breath caller called into the 911 center saying "I don't know what is going on with these white dudes". Would like to speak to police.

[angel kinda @ang5elina]

this week was soooo kys vibes but next week we're sooooo back

[kesha @KeshaRose]

He didn’t like glitter
And I was fucking Kesha

[Helluva Bottom Carter @bingomilf]

Murder on the dancefloor…

[teryn @youngtiddy]

leaving cookies out for gypsy rose tonight

[LuxieGames @LuxieGames]

Respectfully if another bad thing happens to me I will turn into a ball and then start rolling away and never stop

[Jennifer @Paper_Heart_Jen]

Dolly Parton at 77 and me almost half her age. 😭😭

[Variety @Variety]

Stephen King really, really loved Lou Bega's "Mambo No. 5." How much? “My wife threatened to divorce me. I played that a lot...I played that thing until my wife just said, 'One more time, and I'm going to f*cking leave you.'" https://t.co/WsYrFxRQS1

[gaz @gazpachomachine]

my friend just got a therapist on BetterHelp and it is NOT going well

[The Museum of Curiosities @CuriosMuseum]

In 1871, a woman from Quebec hired a hearse with the sole intention of riding around town smoking in the coffin-bed while enjoying the view.

[Lisa Di Bartolomeo ☮️🇺🇦🌈 @LMDiBartolomeo]

WVU friends, students, alumni, and employees—help out our faculty by signing our petition, please! Anyone who supports can sign. #academictwitter

https://t.co/66mFgAnDRF

[The Daily Athenaeum @DailyAthenaeum]

JUST IN: A WordPress document was published by a group of anonymous WVU employees Wednesday in response to the University’s $45 million budget deficit and Reduction-in-Force solution.

https://t.co/qOW5LTHV5b

[ally @allybman]

looking at white broncos hoping to get some of that oj luck