Ally

I take really hot showers to practice burning in hell.

[Ally @allydebler]

Someone called the cops on me & told them I was breaking weed up while driving. I was eating broccoli, guys...

[Ally @allydebler]

Red wine & @Khruangbin are a match mate in heaven *chefs kiss*

[Ally @allydebler]

Why do ASMR videos make me feel dirty?

[Ally @allydebler]

I want Nick to get a neck tattoo. But then I’d definitely have to get my tubes tied bc we are not having anymore kids.

He won’t do it. But I want him to

[Ally @allydebler]

I love a good full circle moment when a person who was shitty to you has an ugly kid.

[Ally @allydebler]

If you wear a tiara on your wedding day… I’m judging you

[Ally @allydebler]

God putting hair follicles in our butt cracks is just rude

[Ally @allydebler]

Amber Turd… That is all.

[Ally @allydebler]

Maybe someday I’ll come up for air. Until then, I sink.

[Ally @allydebler]

@yutsai is the male equivalent of Edna Mode #antm

[Ally @allydebler]

Facebook needs to get their shit together. I just laugh reacted to somebody’s dead brother

[Ally @allydebler]

I can’t wait to have my own home again

[Ally @allydebler]

@J__V____ I gave a friend 1 ride to work and he gave me 15 grams of weed to thank me #imtheubernow

[Ally @allydebler]

@MaddieSnyderxo The Cold Stone sweet cream is delicious!😋

[Ally @allydebler]

Coffee creamer is my religion

[Ally @allydebler]

My dad is drunk and currently listening to a country cover of an Eminem song. Is this his midlife crisis?

[Ally @allydebler]

The lady at Taco Bell just called our dog sexy.

[Ally @allydebler]

How do I get @brucebuffer job?

[Ally @allydebler]

“I’ll give you Xanax for your wedding gift” -My Grandma